i don't have a good title for this mess

[delicatale]

There are parts of fandom I really don't understand. Oh, well.

Recs! Both codas for 2.01 so if you haven't seen it, wait before reading these. They're wonderful though, so do read them!

to hold on to by elandrialore. If you don't read everything she writes already you're missing out on pretty perfect fic. This one, though ♥.

and

half full by thegrrrl2002. It brought me to tears by being so right.

I wish I had that kind of talent, you guys. Go read!



I've never been the kind to have several fic projects on the go. I'd start a fic, focus on it, finish it, go to the next. I would also try not to bury myself under projects, because then I'd feel overwhelmed, scared.

But this fandom, I don't know. I have several fics started and not finished. I am signing up in the most random places, writing fics I never thought I'd write. And I do feel overwhelmed. I do feel scared, and I want everybody to hold my hand and tell me it's okay, that what I'm writing doesn't suck, that I can do it, come out on top. I don't feel like I can do it on my own, even when I want to, even when I try. On my own, I panic. This is why I post snippets and cling and am so needy. When it comes to this, I am not nearly as strong as I'd like to be. I am not confident about my writing, and this fandom is full of people with immense writing talent and I don't pretend I want to compete. I just want to be there, to be a part of it.

Now, I have several fics in the works/to be in the works soon, and I don't know where to turn to sometimes.

- Steve and his spinal cord injury and his surfboards and Danny and Grace and Mamo. It has now reached 7K, which feels like very little compared to the time I've been working on it. I'm reaching a state of mind where I just want to be done with it, even though I still don't want to rush it, and I still want to write it the right way, and tell the story how it deserves to be told. I don't know if it's any good.

- Steve and Danny thrown in the Terminator universe. Almost 3K, I give it my attention from time to time, in random bursts. It's not a lot of words but I feel like it's so much bigger in my head. There are so many things I didn't write (yet?) and I wonder if some should be written, or if people will make up their own images in their heads, if they need me to paint it out for them. I fiercely like some parts of it.

- 5-0 crashes a wedding. Case-fic complete with Catherine and silliness and making out in a broom cupboard for tailoredshirt. I love the idea I have for this even if I don't quite have the resolution sorted out (I was inspired by a s1 episode of Leverage), but I have not started it yet. I have moments of it written out in my head, I just need to know where to start and where to end it.

- The fic where Steve is an actual ninja and he spent a few years before joining the Navy, living and being trained by Shaolin monks in Tibet. When his mentor dies, he goes back to Tibet for the funeral and Danny follows him, under the excuse that he is worried Steve will start an international incident. I don't know about this one, you guys, because it sounds so cracky and yet it isn't at all in my head. And I have all these images in my head but I'd have to research so hard and it could fall flat, so I really. I really don't know.

So some of my friends, they have like, dozens of fics on the go and it works for them. I have 2 being written and 2 poking at my brain (I am not counting the WiPs/possible fics planned with sirona_gs though), and it already feels too much for me. Everyone's process is different, but I'm not used to this. I need handholding and reassuring and oh, wow, I am so annoying.

For your effort, have a beautiful screencap of Steve.

Comments

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

♥. I am terribly bad at explaining myself, and saying thank you, and accepting compliments, but you have no idea how much this touches me. I am so glad you liked what I've got for the Terminator crossover, seriously! It means the world to me, every person that reads and enjoys my writing, it's enormous and I am so thankful. Seriously, you have no idea.

As for the Zombiebang, I can share the unbetaed story with you! Chin and Kono do not appear in the story, though, it's only Steve and Danny.

[zoronoa.livejournal.com]

Just know that I have read and enjoyed every single one of your fics and I'm such a big fan, you have NO idea. Just, GAH, I can't even explain how much I wish I had just a tiny speck of your talent, truly!

Ah, well, that kinda cuts down on the art a bit with them not being there, but maybe not, I've had another snippet idea in my mind, which would seriously be helped by knowing what happens in the story. But I'd almost rather wait with the story. The anticipation will almost kill me, yet it'll be so worth it, I can tell. However, if you have a section in the story that you're particularly fond of, send it my way (on Gmail) and I'll see if I can make something! Which brings me to: would you like a small preview of what I have made so far?

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

Aaaaahhh, I have emailed you! I hope it's the right email address ^_^

[zoronoa.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, haven't received it yet, did you use the same address that you used to send the terminator fic? (zoronoaz @ gmail . com)

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

I forgot the z at the end! Done.

[tailoredshirt.livejournal.com]

"unbetaed"

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

Well it still needs some work. I corrected a typo re-reading it. ♥.

[tailoredshirt.livejournal.com]

Man, a whole typo. Yeah, I can see why you'd consider that unbetaed!

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

I know, right! I also changed a few words here and there! I am quite happy with how it turned out, really. It's the most ridiculous fic that ever ridiculed. Also, my artist is fantastic, I am excited!