delicatale

So, as Scott Caan would say, I went and got my hair did at the weekend. I do it maybe twice a year because I can rarely be arsed, so it's always sort of an event for me. Lookit! I went shorter than I usually do but I like it, even if it's taking me a while to get used to it. I got many a compliment at work so I'm quite pleased *^_^*.

Other than that, I have reached 11.5K on my Teen Wolf Big Bang, which means I wrote over 2K at the weekend, which is very pleasing to me, considering these days I struggle to write over 500 words a day. I wrote it all on Sunday afternoon/evening so it's a good rhythm! lanyon helped me make sense of my thoughts, and I pushed through a small blockage I had, and managed to write a couple of very important scenes, so, happy! will definitely get over the 15K required for this; I really want to get to the point where I'm close to be finished with it, even if I can't post it just yet. I am enjoying writing it immensely, but I also want to see the finished product, if that makes any sense...Anyway, I reached a turning point, and now I have a few questions for you, my literary, beautiful flist:

Can you think of any great book that ends with one of the characters coming home, or someone important coming back to them? ETA: I think I'm going to use Homer's The Odyssey. Kind of an obvious one, but it's not like this story is subtle anyway ^^.

And also: how many of you have read The Time Traveler's Wife? Because I use its plot in the story and I'm wondering if it will put off many people because there are spoilers from the book in there.

Let me know!

Anyway, for your time, and if you're interested, have a tiny bit of the story:
( Teen Wolf Big Bang, Adventure Times! )

I am so, so emotionally exhausted. Today I had to watch one of my colleagues explode in sobs over one of our clients, and realising we made a mistake, and having to sort it, and deal with it all. She is doing it, and doing it well, but it's a little too much right now.

It's like, my emotions are way too close to the surface at the moment. I cry watching White Collar, and Awkward, and I snap in frustration every time I'm asked something I don't know the answer to. I want everyone to go away, I want to be left alone, if only for a while, so I can try to breathe and look at issues head-on. Maybe it's because I had a 19 hours work day on Tuesday (day trip to Paris to meet with clients), maybe it's because it's been 3 months since my last break. It's just been a hard week.

Thankfully I am going away tomorrow. Getting on a train back to France, I am roadtripping with my mum to the south of France for a wedding, and then going home for a week. I will be alone with my dad and my dog during the days, and I plan on sleeping a lot, writing a lot, geeking out a lot, and recharge my batteries in my quiet childhood neighbourhood. I am hopeful it will be enough to make me feel a bit more stable again.

One little compliment can make you feel great. So give me a compliment, anything in the entire world, even that my shoelaces are pretty. Put this in your journal. Once you get some comments, put that entry in a memory or tag and when you are feeling down, just go to that entry and this will remind you how great you are.

Do it too so I can love on you <3. Anon is on, and comments are screened. Free speech.

So my workplace held this competition, to win one in ten spots for the Zombie Shopping Mall Event, and my god did I want to get a place. It was a draw, ten names out of a hat, and 26 of us signed up, and I didn't get a spot. Before the draw I was almost sick with nervousness, and after I was trembling, close to tears.

And, okay, I know it's stupid, right, super fucking stupid because it's not the end of the world and it doesn't really matter and it's just not a big deal, but, I don't know, not getting a spot really, really upset me. And I know I shouldn't think like this because it's a perk from our COO and we're fucking privileged to have been offered spots (he's paying the £1200 for the ten spots out of his own pocket), but I can't seem to get over the fact that I didn't get a spot. I gather that it makes me a super selfish bitch, I just can't shake it.

One of the guys who got a spot was like 'ah, I see several of you want it, so I will auction mine closer to the date!' and it pissed me off so much my hands actually closed into fists.

I seem to be keeping my feelings in check with difficulty. Idk, gimme happy things to change my mind, possibly?

Okay, FINE, let's have a love meme. I'm sorry, I probably don't deserve it, but I sort of feel like I need it.

I LOVE YOU GUYS.

Not posted in a week - life has been busy.

One, I want to say I LOVED that episode of 5-0, it was just absolutely beautiful and although I guess we're not going to see much post-events reactions which is something I'd like to see, the episode itself made my heart shake really hard. A coda related to the episode that made my heart shake again, is this one, Hold on to your heart (is this all you've got to break my fall) by my darling theellibu. It's beautiful and poignant.

Went to the Stories Before Bedtime reading yesterday, and all I can say really is that Tom Hiddleston is such a presence, so charismatic, an incredible actor. I was enthralled from the moment he got on stage - I've read around that there would be a podcast, and I'd advise anyone to listen to it if it does come out. He took on an American deep south accent that (to me) was flawless, made the most amazing faces and voices, and captured the attention of the audience in an incredible way.
Also, look how gorgeous he looked:

After the show, did the stage door thing, but so did the rest of the theatre, and I didn't get my Thor DVD signed. Rather not than try harder and get trampled, though. It's just not my thing, not really.

Anyway, that is all. I am sorry my life isn't exactly stellar exciting at the moment. I haven't written a word this week, although sirona_gs and I are discussing possibilities. I am tired as hell but I'll get over it - just getting used to being at work again. The rhythm in this new agency is crazy, and I need to get into it.

I don't think I've missed much in fandom terms but if I have, let me know? (still haven't seen the Bourne trailer, by the way. This makes me sad.)

I just watched Sunshine, which was depressing and heartbreaking all in its own right, but also pretty fucking good (♥ Danny Boyle).

Thing is, it made me want to write. I've always wanted to write some kind of Sci-Fi, happens-on-a-ship kind of story, where I can invent words and have dangers like a supernova or a black hole around.

I could spend days writing about this crew; Steve the mechanic, wrench in his back pocket at all times, always tinkering with the mainframe; Tony the physicist, hours spent in his lab wanting to put deep space in a bottle; Clint the weapons specialist, monkeying around the ship from laser turret to laser turret; Bucky the pilot, found leaning into the consoles sometimes, listening to beeps and bumps with a loving look on his face; Natasha the botanist, always nurturing the oxygen and water levels of the ship; Bruce the doctor, forcing daily checks on everyone; Fury the captain, Coulson his second in command.

But in the end, without a plot I'm not going anywhere. It's like a pipe dream, something I've always wanted to do, and never found the strength to start, to research. I'm afraid, too, that I'll never be good enough for it, that I won't make the genre justice. It's my favourite, sci-fi and fantasy and the like. It's something I want to treat with respect.

I don't know. It's probably not going to happen. Reassure me, I'm not the only one like this, right? Do you have a genre/type of story you want to write but don't dare to?

So, I'm feeling like pretty muuuuuchhhh shit. You know how, a few days ago I said I was in agony, yes? It's because I am guessing I pulled a muscle in my neck/shoulder area, and I could hardly move my head. It was turning into a dull, sort of controlled ache, until last night, at some point during the night I moved, and Idk, I felt something pop/snap and now it hurts approximately a thousand times more than it did. I didn't get any sleep after that because it was throbbing, and I could barely move to find some sort of comfortable position, because holding my head upright pulls on these muscles and it hurts like a m*therf*cker.
So now I have a hot water bottle against my neck and it's not going far to soothe, but it's better than nothing and it keeps my head upright without me having to use any muscles. I probably need a neck brace, at this point.

In other shit news, I went to meet with my boss yesterday, to talk about our ~work situation, and, as sort of feared, basically it was either get a new office or let people go right away. So he chose to keep us on for a while longer, finish what we've started, but he's giving us the freedom to just go for interviews during our work hours if we have the chance, and he's offering us interview practice, and stuff like that. I think there's only 3 of us being sort of let go, but I'm not exactly sure, because he told me he wanted to do something else, too. At least we're not going into administration or something like that, so he's still paying us and it's not DEEP SHIT. It just sucks. I told him I've got interviews lined up, because it smelled like rubber for us, and he just wished me luck. Fuck.

And speaking of interviews, I had one, after that meeting, yesterday. And it was...Idk. It was quite informal, and all the pretty things I wanted to say about the company didn't come into the discussion, and I don't know if I answered some of their questions the way they wanted me to, but. I try. I'm not really good at all this stuff. However, I have three more interviews on Monday, so there's hope!

ANYWAY. That is the bad, let's get to the good, yes? Yes. sirona_gs and I ended up signing for the for which we're writing our Love, Actually redux. And it's already 5K (the min word count for the big bang is 15K) and we're still completely at the beginning. And I already love it. Muehehehe.

Aaaand I went to see JEREMY RENNER AND HIS ARSE in the cinema with my friend Lisa the other night and it was a brilliant silly timy FILLED WITH JEREMY RENNER'S ARSE. Oh, that arse in those tailored trousers, my oh my.
Speaking of Jeremy Renner, kellifer_fic posted this picture on Neve's journal the other day and it inspired all sorts of dolphin noises, so, sharing for those who didn't see (and those who want to see it again):

My insides are still quivering.

Okay, I wanted to talk about photography as part of the snowflake challenge, as it's sort of my non-fannish ~thing, although it was started by fandom. Or not really, it's just all mixed up together. Basically, my non-fannish thing? Live music photography, because I love it so much. I love taking a million pictures and going through them, editing them, remembering exactly when was this and when was that. I had the chance to be in the photo pit for the very first concert of a McFly arena tour last year, and I swear to God the experience was such a thrill. If I had the money to get better equipment than what I have, you have no idea, I would have so much shit. I have so much to learn (which is why I really love reading vickita's entries and checking out her pictures, because they're amazing), but that's this thing I really enjoy doing outside of the fannish world.

( A few examples if you're so inclined )

OKAY OKAY I AM DONE. Sorry! Anyway, that is that. Now, to go back to ~work. Sorry this became so long, wow.

So, I got home from my parents yesterday evening (which was a nightmare, let's not talk about that) and then went on to have a SHIT night and woke up at 6 and watched really bad tv shows for a while before going back to bed and then waking up at 12. Which is more like it, isn't it? Back to work tomorrow so I'm making the most of a day off, even if I'm all alone :(.

My mom bought me a pair of crazy heels for Christmas, hee XD. We're not the kind of family that give a lot of presents, so I got that, and my brother got me perfume (didn't even complain that I didn't get him anything, I think he realised I was really quite upset he didn't even text me for my birthday, in amongst other things), and my grandma knitted me a scarf (stjarna1984's mum also did that! I HAVE ALL THE SCARVES). It was good because I was with my family, really, that was all I wanted from these three days and I got it, so, I can't complain.

Other than that, since the next three days at work are probably going to be very quiet, I'll hopefully get to write these drabbles and other things I'm working on. That'd be good, even if I'm still quite angry at the whole 'you can't take holidays you have to be in the office otherwise there won't be enough people' when there is, for a fact, enough people. BUT, TRYING NOT TO BE BITTER, I'll just write all day and fuck it.

Speaking of writing, have a meme, I'll try to have good answers for it!
Give me a character or a pairing (or both) and I will tell you three tidbits of my personal headcanon for them.

In the meantime, I am rewatching Kings.