sigh.

[delicatale]

So my workplace held this competition, to win one in ten spots for the Zombie Shopping Mall Event, and my god did I want to get a place. It was a draw, ten names out of a hat, and 26 of us signed up, and I didn't get a spot. Before the draw I was almost sick with nervousness, and after I was trembling, close to tears.

And, okay, I know it's stupid, right, super fucking stupid because it's not the end of the world and it doesn't really matter and it's just not a big deal, but, I don't know, not getting a spot really, really upset me. And I know I shouldn't think like this because it's a perk from our COO and we're fucking privileged to have been offered spots (he's paying the £1200 for the ten spots out of his own pocket), but I can't seem to get over the fact that I didn't get a spot. I gather that it makes me a super selfish bitch, I just can't shake it.

One of the guys who got a spot was like 'ah, I see several of you want it, so I will auction mine closer to the date!' and it pissed me off so much my hands actually closed into fists.

I seem to be keeping my feelings in check with difficulty. Idk, gimme happy things to change my mind, possibly?