In which I whine about fic.

[delicatale]

Yeah. If you don't want to listen to someone ramble on about fic and how mildly depressing it can be then read on and don't bother.

Okay, here's the thing. Today I wrote porn for Boxer!Danny along with stjarna1984, and by the end of it the story is now 29,500 words long. Okay, fair enough, all right. When I think about what I still have to write in this story, I start panicking a little. I mean, I am enjoying writing this story a lot, and there are scenes I really really love and I think, overall, that it flows well, despite the length.

But who says I'm right? I feel like this is dragging on and maybe I'll lose readers because they get bored, not much happens, they want more action/sex/fights/whatever it is they could want? Maybe? I don't know! It's almost 30k long and I am far from being finished and maybe some people want a story where the characters are really fleshed out, and maybe people don't want that. I don't know. It's making me want to slash through the story and take entire scenes out, because they possibly are superfluous, but maybe people will want to read it anyway?

stjarna1984's opinion is that I should go on, finish it, and then cut through it during the editing phase and it's probably the best thing to do, I know that, but I can't help having a crisis from time to time. I would ask for test-readers but then I'm afraid nobody will read when it's actually finished! My insecurities, you guys /o\.

Another thing I keep on thinking about, is how the HELL am I going to cut that story. I mean, I see how the chapters could be cut, that's easy enough considering the way the story is structured, but I don't know if I want to do that or have less chapter that are bigger or have more chapters that are smaller. I just. Don't know.

Anyway, I shall go back to editing php files in Notepad. Hardcore.

Comments

[imaginarycircus.livejournal.com]

*squishes you*

I agree that you should finish it before you cut anything. Don't worry too much. I know you will have plenty of readers! <3

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

I don't know that - longer fics take quite some commitment from readers so I may not have as many readers as I have had, but then again, I'm thankful for anyone who want to read it/will read it at some point.

[imaginarycircus.livejournal.com]

Well, I will read! <3

[perspi.livejournal.com]

*hugs you UP*

I am familiar with this kind of crisis-of-confidence in a long story. (OK, granted, I haven't actually written such a long story by myself since...2006, but whatever.)

Your co-writer is a wise woman--finish it, write everything you want, and cut afterward, if you feel like you need to. People *will* read it--you will find that for everyone who might backbutton because there isn't enough 'action' there's another person who will *revel* in the fleshing-out scenes.

As for test-readers/betas: perhaps pick one or two people to look it over/talk it out with you when you're done? You will have readers, because Boxer!Danny is awesome slathered in awesomesauce.

(I would be willing to beta/test-read, if you'd like...)

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

I feel so stoopid /o\. I shouldn't matter so much what other people want, right? Sigh.

(it is duly noted. I might? I mean if you want to read it - I have betas all over it - and tell me if you got engrossed in it or not...)

[perspi.livejournal.com]

*passes tea*

Sweets, for all that many of us *say* we only write for ourselves, the truth is that we do take into account what we think our readers want, and the comments we want to get. Heck, the only reason I posted my comment-fic-hug-thing this week was because I wanted *something* to post and feel good about (as opposed to sitting on said comment-fic a little while yet, and maybe adding to it, but I said, "Self, be realistic. Also, wouldn't it be great to get a few kudos to add to your self-confidence?").

I know it's hard to trust your betas and your co-writer when you're feeling deep in the middle of it, but: YOU CAN DO IT. If the story you want to tell is big and deep and sprawling, dive in! We'll come with you.

*cheers for you*

[everywherestars.livejournal.com]

I think as long as you love the scenes your readers will too! Also think how many people love reading big bangs, longfic is fab.

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

I do love getting into a long fic, but they do require some commitment from the reader and I'm just terribly afraid I'll lose some of them in the process D:.

[gehirnstuerm.livejournal.com]

I definitely feel your pain. I know I've gone into crisis-mode over way shorter stories, so I can only imagine how much worse it can be with a long fic like this. But.

Yes, longer fics take some commitment from readers, but hey - the H50 fandom is full of very, very, very commited readers. I think I'm not the only one who loves long stories with fleshed-out characters and slow progression, so I don't think you need to worry about that. Finish it, write everything you want, everything you think your story needs, let it breathe for a bit, maybe get a handful of test readers.

.

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

I let my 2008 NaNo breathe for a bit and it ended up never being posted ;).

[gehirnstuerm.livejournal.com]

Hee. Then Boxer!Danny shouldn't be allowed to breathe too long ;)

[kristen999.livejournal.com]

Oh, hon. We all have these freak-outs in the middle of longer stories. It feels like you're writing totally tunnel-visioned. I always have a crisis over the pacing of anything 20k because you're been staring at it so long. Take a deep breath, finish it. Put it aside and let a beta read it and then if you want to cut--cut.

*hands you cookies*

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

That's the thing - if I put it aside when I'm finished - if I don't get into the edit/beta phase right away then I'll end up never posting it. It's going to be a while before I'm finished with this, and I'm sort of terrified :').

[kristen999.livejournal.com]

Well it'll technically be 'out aside' while a friend reads it...as in you won't be staring at it for a few days and then you can jump into the editing phase!

[gossy16.livejournal.com]

Not that I've ever written anything of that length (it's a rare occasion if I even break 3k, lol) but I would suggest to keep writing everything you want in the story. In the end, if something feels unnecessary or superfluous, cut it.

And then maybe make a separate post for ~DVD Extras: Deleted Scenes~ ^^

For what it's worth, on a personal level, I'm not going to be discouraged by length if a story has me hooked. :)

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

As it is, I am - suddenly a scene just exploded itself on me and I've written 800 words of it in the last hour.

Ahah, I thought that!

That's the thing though, I'm terrified this story is not hooking enough? I'm afraid people will get bored of it!

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

BB, I'm of the firm opinion that the moment you start writing for other people instead of what you actually want/need to write, it's a downhill spiral from there on. IT IS A GOOD STORY. IT IS A TIGHT STORY, IT FLOWS WELL (what I've read of it), AND IT IS REALLY, TRULLY GREAT. I know you have your doubts, bb, but for me it is a brilliant story, and I'm not just saying that, I promise.

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

I do believe there's always a little sense of 'what will others think' - at least I have that nagging thought always when I write on my own. When writing with someone I don't, though, because well, I got someone to sound things off from right away, and that's enough. Sometimes you just need one person, you know?
And I love this story, I love writing it, but I feel like I've been writing it FOR SO LONG now and I'm not used to that so it's hard to see straight!

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

There is much sense in what you say. When I write fic for a long time, especially when I write it on my own, I lose all objectivity. I need someone to tell me what they think it's like, another POV. So yes, I promise, I'm prioritising you tonight. You WILL get an email with my thoughts at some point. /smishes you/

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

If you have other things to do - it's fine. Seriously I'm just having a crisis! I'll get better! I am still at work.

[katie-padfoot.livejournal.com]

so im not part of this fandom obviously, BUT THIS IS ME GIVING YOU A LITTLE PEP TALK OKAY?

your writing is fucking awesome, and there is nothing better than when you're reading something really good (and i have no doubt that this fic has to be) and it's so long and fleshed out and tells the whole story without feeling rushed.

that is like my ultimate fic pet hate - when a fic is really good, but feels like its all moving too fast... so the bits where you feel like nothing is happenign are actually the bits that people always seem to leave out and it makes things unrealistic.

....erm yeah. i'll stop now :')

TO SUM UP - you're an awesome writer, STOP FRETTING.

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

I can't help it! But okay. Thank you very much for the pep talk, honestly. ♥ It means a lot to me that you're around and reading my lame entries when it's not McFly!

[jayecoc.livejournal.com]

I'm de-lurking to say that, as a reader, I absolutely love love love the long fics. When a fic is written well, and I've never read one of your's that wasn't, a slow pace doesn't matter to me. I enjoy characterization that you can sink into, and it certainly doesn't have to be a story that can be read in one sitting. A good story is always a joy to come back to. Good luck. No matter how long your Boxer!Danny fic turns out to be, I'm really looking forward to reading it.

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

Thank you honey! It means a lot that you would de-lurk to say this :D. I am loving writing this fic, it's just that I'm so deep in the middle of it I can't see the beginning anymore and I can't see the end yet. It's freaking me out!

[somehowunbroken]

/hugs

Agreed with what's been said - finish it up as you have planned, and take out what's really superfluous during editing. Don't go back and crop tings out in the middle - you never know what you're going to reference and need later.

That said, I'd read all the words :)

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

Aaaaaallllll the words ^^. There will be a lot of them!

[gunslingaaahhh.livejournal.com]

i concur w/ the overall opinion of finishing the story and then shaving stuff off when its done and you're in the editing phase. better to have too much and cut things out than to have not written it at all, yeah?

<3

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's probably the best thing indeed! That's the way I'm going anyway.

[megaranight.livejournal.com]

I'm on the same boat with a fic post finale I'm writing right now. It's going to be very long (12K and I've only 2/3 written) and I'm wondering if readers are going to be patient enough to read through it. So I decided I'll post one chapter every two days, rather than the fic in a whole. So people who read the first chapters and enjoyed them will hopefully look for more and won't cringe because the fic is that long.

So in my opinion, write your fic as *you* feel it should be written, even if it's long. If it's interesting, if it explores depths of Danny and Steve, people will read it.

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

That's the thing, it spans a long time and I don't want to skim over bits that I think could be important, but at the same time, what if readers don't get into it? Sigh, that's what I get for enabling myself.

[gyri.livejournal.com]

Write for yourself and for your love of the characters. That's the most important.

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

I do - but the thing is, I know people always say 'you have to write for yourself' and of course you do, if you don't enjoy it then it's stupid to even try, but I always also write for others and I think I can't deny that fact anymore. It might be why I find it so easy to have a co-writer, because then I don't need to worry about what others think, I have someone else there telling me right away. When writing alone, I write what I want and then I'll worry about what others will think of it. And it's a part of writing, too, I believe.

[dusantiago.livejournal.com]

Honey, all you need to do is ask. If you want a test reader then just gimme a shout, and I swear I'll still read the completed version.

If not I wait in anticipation for what you produce.

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

Well it's not completed as it is but I'm already wondering about flow and all these little things that make a story!

[bmouse.livejournal.com]

I say don't cut anything! When I see a nice long story in my favorite fandom I never wish it was shorter :D also that is the beauty of long fic that you can add details and flesh out characters. ::waves cheering pom poms for you and your fic::

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

Sometimes things have to be cut, though ^^. You have no idea the terrible shit I can end up writing that will never see the light of day!