This is not funny. (spoilers for the H50 finale)

[delicatale]

So my Muse has decided to give me my first bunny, post H50 finale. And I hate it because just thinking about it BREAKS MY FUCKING HEART. Because Danny goes back to New Jersey and doesn't help Chin clear Steve's name and the guilt is eating at him, okay, but he's got a family. So when Steve's name is cleared and Kono calls Danny and tells him to come back, if only for a few days, they're having a big party and Steve would like him to be there, Danny goes. And Chin is angry at him but Steve? Steve is just heartbroken. Steve hurts just looking at Danny and thinking about him back in New Jersey as if nothing ever happened between them and as if Danny doesn't know that Steve was counting on him, that Steve loves him, because fuck, he does, he really does.
And there are fights and angry, desperate sex and Danny's feeling so torn up about everything in his life because nothing is right and just.

My Muse. It's a douchewad.

Comments

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

I probably would not be able to write it until I have a happy ending, or at least something hopeful, if not bittersweet, but HOW. HOW CAN THAT HAPPEN, DANNY IS STILL TORN BETWEEN HIS FAMILY, AND THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE. shit.

[somehowunbroken]

RIGHT NOW DANNY IS LIKE, WHY DID I JUST FALL INTO OLD FAMILIAR PATTERNS, WHY DID I DO THAT, and Steve is hurt and confused and in jail, and Danny doesn't know what to do, how is this his life, how, where's he supposed to go from here?

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

But he wanted to! He wanted his family back and for a while he really thought this Thing They're Doing with Steve would not matter because it's Rachel and Grace and they're having another baby and he's going home. He thought, he honestly thought it was what he wanted. But then he can't stop thinking about it all and how shit it is and he loves Rachel and he loves Grace and he loves their new baby (a boy - they call him Julian and he's got Rachel's eyes like Grace, but he's got Danny's hair), but - he loves Steve and when Steve gets out, when Kono tells him to come back, he doesn't hesitate.

But then when he lies in bed with Steve and looks at his own fingers chasing shadows over the planes of Steve's back he just doesn't know what to do because he's got a life in New Jersey, he's got responsibilities and people counting on him. He can't ask Rachel to move back to Hawaii, can he? He can't ask her to follow him like he followed her the first time around.

Or maybe he can.

[somehowunbroken]

He can't not, is what it comes down to, because Steve runs his fingers down Danny's back and they're trembling, and there's this closed-off look on his face that Danny can't figure until he can. It's the face that says that Steve's taking hat he can this time, that he's storing up every little touch and moment and breath, because he knows that Danny's leaving him, that he's going back to his family and his home, and Steve's going to be left alone again.

"We're not married," he says softly, tracing his fingers over Steve's collarbone, feeling the indentation above his heart where he'd been stabbed and the bone never quite healed right. "Me and Rach. We're living together, it's easier, y'know, with the baby. But we talked about it, and - it's just, we're so bad for each other, really, so bad, and we didn't want to put the kids through it-"

"Okay," Steve says simply, and he's using the dead man's voice, the eerily blank nothingness giving nothing away, which gives everything away.

Danny's helpless, for once without the words he needs to make this right, mostly because he wouldn't be able to find right with a compass and a map at this point.

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

rgnjierpghruigpergbf I want to go on and on but it's missing so many bits that should happen before that and my Muse is begging me now. NOW IF YOU WANT TO WRITE THE WHOLE OF IT WITH ME YOU CAN.

[somehowunbroken]

YES YES LET'S.

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

HEEEEEEP. ellievolia at gmail dot com is my email! LET'S CHAT! AND WRITE!

[somehowunbroken]

I'm karisah at optonline dot net, just in case it goes to your spam or whatnot.

:D :D

[iam-space.livejournal.com]

So glad you guys are working on this! D: :D D: :D

[gossy16.livejournal.com]

Maybe I'm sleep deprived (spoiler alert: yes) but I am legit WELLING UP reading this.

ahgasjdkhlj;k why do they hurt me so

[delicatale.livejournal.com]

Hey, so was I when I read it. NOW IT JUST NEEDS TO BE WRAPPED UP IN OTHER WORDS. We're working on it!

[sanguine2.livejournal.com]

write faster !
please.
my sanity depends on it ,
and please - focus on that bit where you have Danny' saying he and Rachel aren't married..., that they're so BAD for each other,
bad bad bad bad bad !
*goes back to imagining Steve and Danny having make-up sex)

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD /BAWLS/ THIS IS JUST. OH GOD, STEVE, OH MY GOD.

DELICATALE JUST LINKED ME TO THIS AND I AM BROKEN, LIKE STEVE, AND I NEED FIXING SO MUCH. I <3 THE TWO OF YOU SO MUCH FOR DOING THIS. T___________T

[holsbells99.livejournal.com]

Oh thank you! Oh Steve and Oh Danny. And Oh Steve all over again. Broken!Steve is killing me. *Flails*