![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
delicataleChapter 4, looked over thoroughly and amazingly by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sirona_gs. stjarna1984 and theellibu supported me through this and I love them for it. So to all 3 of these ladies, thank youuuuu.
Longest chapter so far I believe! IN FACT IT IT TOO LARGE FOR LJ HOMFG.
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
February 2008
February in Jersey feels like fucking Siberia is all Steve can think as he waits, blowing on his freezing fingers from time to time. He keeps on waiting, though, stays right where he is, close to the gym’s doors, where he can’t be missed and cannot miss anyone walking in
He could go back to the apartment he’s renting for the length of his stay and stare at the empty walls for a while, or try to forget about the last mission with some shit TV. He could do all that, but every time he closes his eyes he feels the clinging heat of the Somalian plains, remembers the blood of Walker’s gut wound that Steve had not managed to keep from getting infected. When he closes his eyes, Steve sees the dead eyes of his brother-in-arms and the haunting smile on his lips; he smells the dirt that he’s still sneezing out now, the kind that clings to lungs and skin. When he closes his eyes he can remember the orders he’d been given and how sour they’d tasted in his mouth when he’d had to relay them.
And when they were allowed a couple hours of sleep, he can recall a few times where Danny’s face appeared behind his eyelids, his gruff morning voice enveloping Steve, his compact body a memory of warmth that was welcomed. Only a couple of times it happened, but a couple of times is enough for Steve to want to see him again, to see those eyes smiling brightly at him.
Danny isn’t at his apartment when Steve stops by - maybe he’d moved, as he said he was thinking of. He’s not at the gym, either, so Steve finds a bench nearby, sits himself down and waits. It’s early enough in the day that Danny is bound to come by - he’s never trusted Vince with the place.
Steve isn’t stupid or naive enough not to know it’s probable Danny has moved on; he’d thought it already when he came back last time, only to be lucky. This time maybe he won’t be; but Steve is a Navy SEAL, he can deal with a little bout of heartbreak, it’s not that big a deal. It’s not like he’s in love or anything like that.
So Steve waits. The cold keeps him awake, alert, and he allows himself to stop his watch for five minutes while he goes to get a coffee in the joint across the street - it tastes like dishwater, and Steve ends up just using it to soak up some warmth, looking at the people walking in and out of the gym.
It’s been more than two hours when Steve recognizes Danny’s car, coming in to park near the entrance, just a few feet away from him. Steve stands up, his muscles stiff with the cold and his fingers tingling, and looks at Danny, who sits behind the wheel of his car for a long while, just looking back. He licks his lips and bites them together before he steps out of the car, closing the door with a palm as he walks towards Steve. Steve, who is feeling more and more jittery, feelings he’s suppressed since his teenage years bubbling in his stomach. He said goodbye last time, Danny shouldn’t be angry. He shifts on the balls of his feet, hands deep in his pockets.
“Hi.”
“Hi. I wonder if I should punch you right now.”
“...What?”
Danny makes a little face, a half shrug.
“Just to make sure you’re real.”
Steve smiles and Danny does too, rueful and gruff, and Steve takes the time to think that Danny looks more polished than he used to - his hair slicked back, longer than it used to be, his face clean shaved, his jaw sharper than in Steve’s memories.
His train of thoughts is stopped dead in its tracks when Danny pushes Steve to a small alleyway around the gym building, hiding them from the street and people walking past. The alley smells of dank garbage and piss but Steve doesn’t mind when Danny wraps his arms around his ribs and pulls him close, nose searching for the dip in Steve’s collarbone through his clothes and coat. Steve hugs back, wrapping his arms around Danny and taking in the sweet tangy smell of his hair. He’s solid in a way Steve has missed, and well, it’s been 7 months since anyone gave him a hug.
It’s silly little things like that. He isn’t visiting his dad, nor Mary Ann this time; he can’t quite deal with the idea of facing either of them, facing the memories. His dad has not been anything but a shadow of himself since Steve’s mother died, and May Ann is so angry all the time it breaks Steve’s heart too much.
“How long you got?”
Danny’s words are muffled against Steve’s neck, his breaths warm puffs of air against Steve’s cold skin. Steve’s stomach twists, unwilling to let go of Danny, so he squeezes him a little tighter, his eyes drifting close as he brushes the outside of Danny’s ear with his nose.
“Ten days.”
Danny pulls away gingerly, grinning up at Steve as he keeps his hands tucked around Steve’s sides, thumbs hooked in Steve’s coat pockets. If he’s moved on, he’s not showing any signs of it.
“It gets longer and longer, how nice.”
Steve can see there are other words on the tip of his tongue, but Danny apparently swallows them down, a cloud passing over his face. Steve reaches up absentmindedly, brushes the back of his fingers down Danny’s cheek, and Danny takes in a sharp breath, closing his eyes and turning his head slightly, parted lips catching on Steve’s skin for an instant, enough to make Steve’s eyes burn and his stomach drop with raw need.
“I, um, I have to go in for a while, check on everything. Do you - what do you want to do? You can come in with me, have a workout if you want? And then we can grab some food.”
“We can do that. I’m renting a place 5 minutes from here.”
Danny smiles and snorts, his fingers curled in Steve’s coat pockets now. Steve’s hand is still framing Danny’s face, and he wants to dig his fingers in Danny’s hair so badly they tremble a little.
“Alright, sounds good. Okay. Let’s, then.”
It’s fucking difficult for both of them to pull away, but they manage somehow, and maybe they’re not really subtle when they walk inside Williams’, but at this point, Steve doesn’t care anymore, because Danny is still single and free and he’s not about to get married and have 2.5 kids with a pretty blonde from Arkansas. Steve can deal with being unsubtle when his heart is fit to make his chest burst.
---
It’s a few hours before Steve and Danny are settled in the small one bedroom apartment he’s renting. He’s paying an arm and a leg for it but it’s so close to the gym that he couldn’t resist when he saw the ad. There’s no point in having as much money as Steve’s got, and not spend it at all. He’s got enough saved in case of an emergency, in case Mary Ann and his dad have to plan his funeral.
“What do you want to eat?”
They’re both sitting on the couch, close enough to touch, staring at the turned off TV in front of them. Danny’s got his fingers curled around Steve’s sweater sleeve and Steve is testing how soft Danny’s hair is. They have yet to talk about anything else than right now; they have yet to kiss. Somehow Steve isn’t in a hurry to get Danny naked, writhing and sweaty underneath him. Somehow he’s happy with Danny’s warm weight against him and his smiles and his eyes turning a little soft when he looks at Steve.
“Don’t mind.”
“Well then, it shall be pizza - my cousin’s Jay got a pizza place a few blocks away, he usually gives me a discount.”
“It’s a wonder why you’re not fat.”
“I work out a lot.”
Steve smirks, letting his fingers run through Danny’s hair until they’re settled on the back of his neck, rubbing back and forth over the short hairs there, just above his collar.
“Perks of owning a gym, right?”
Danny doesn’t answer, just leans his head into Steve’s touch, turning so his cheek is resting on the inside of Steve’s wrist, his five o’clock shadow tickling the thin skin there. Steve swallows, feeling his smirk fade into another smile, and he should probably stop just gazing at Danny and actually call for the damn pizza before they go hungry, but he’s happy where he is.
It takes Danny to move just enough to kiss the inside of Steve’s wrist for Steve to take a sharp breath and pull away, his stomach going funny with feelings as he stands and goes to his coat to grab his phone. He throws it on Danny’s lap when he returns, fitting himself close once again, shoulder to shoulder, his fingers lightly pressing into Danny’s thigh.
“Go on then, call your cousin.”
“What do you want?”
“Whatever you’re having, since I’m sure they don’t do ham and pineapple.”
Danny sighs dramatically, thumbing the number in the phone.
“You know, I think it’s a complete travesty that these would be your favorite pizza toppings, but since I quite like you and seeing your face happy, and because I haven’t seen you in a while, I’ll ask him if it’s on the menu.”
“You are so magnanimous.”
“Big word, don’t choke on it, soldier.”
Steve snorts, punching Danny’s leg and ducking out of the way when he turns to retaliate, the phone already at his ear.
“Son of a- hey, Jay, it’s your favourite cousin! Ha ha, no, not Matty. Wise guy. I wanted to ask you a favor. I got a buddy round, he’s from one of those weird states that do barbaric things to their pies - yeah, I know, I know, no respect. Anyway, you do Hawaiian? Oh, you do? Send one over, will ya? And one of my usual. Yeah. Yeah, grazie , eh? I’ll see you later.”
Steve finds himself grinning, listening to Danny rattle on the address, his accent getting thicker, hand gestures larger, the same as when he’s speaking to his uncle at the gym. He hides his smile in Danny’s shoulder when he hangs up, dropping Steve’s coat and phone onto the floor in front of the couch.
“Hey, Danny, think you could say ‘forget about it’ for me?”
“For- wait, why?”
Steve laughs again, his shoulders shaking slightly as he buries his face further behind Danny’s shoulder, pushing between the back of the sofa and Danny. Danny grumbles, flicking the tip of Steve’s ear that is still visible to him.
“Asshole, just you wait until I catch you say anything remotely Hawaiian -”
Steve extracts himself, looking straight at Danny with the biggest grin on his face. Fuck, how easy is it to fall back into this? He’s so damned comfortable right now he’s not even thinking about the fact that he’s not carrying any weapons. And it’s surprisingly easy for the words I missed you to mark themselves around Danny’s name when he thinks about it.
“Pidgin.”
“Pi what?”
“Pidgin. That’s the name of the language. Well, the slang. In Hawaii.”
“Is it because it’s bird noises?”
Steve rolls his eyes, then raises an eyebrow when Danny doesn’t look like he’s kidding.
“No, it’s not bird noises, Danny. It’s just what it’s called. It’s a mixture of a bunch of languages. The locals call it ‘bird’.”
“I see.”
Danny taps his chin, obviously trying to look thoughtful, but his eyes are sparkling, and Steve’s had enough of talking now, and they’ve probably got a few minutes yet before their food arrives, so he leans in, pressing Danny into the couch cushions. He can feel Danny’s breath on his cheek as he runs the tip of his nose along the length of Danny’s, pressing his lips gently to the crease between Danny’s eyes before moving down, brushing his pursed mouth to the end of Danny’s nose, then licking Danny’s bottom lip, sweeping the flat of his tongue softly over and in as Danny parts his lips for him.
There’s a soft rush of an exhalation before Danny leans up and drags him further in, one hand on the back of Steve’s head, holding him still, the other already sliding up under his sweater, solid warm fingers pressing into Steve’s ribs. He moves his tongue slowly against Danny’s, savoring the taste of him, retreating back into his own mouth and drawing Danny with him, all but swallowing him down. Danny breaks off but only to nip at Steve’s lip before diving back in, both of them groaning a little when Danny pulls Steve to lie down on top of him, bodies sliding on the fake leather of the couch.
Steve’s lips tingle with stubble burn when he pulls back a while later, black dots of oxygen deprivation dancing in front of his eyes briefly. He blinks them away, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth as he looks down at Danny, taking in the flushed cheeks and mussed hair. This is the face he’d seen in those moments on a mission, when he’d allowed himself to think.
“Steve?”
They both seem to have completely forgotten about the pizzas, but a knock on the door reminds them, and Steve is thankful of the distraction from whatever Danny was about to ask. He scrambles up, kissing Danny once again, briefly, just because, and then goes to open the door and pay. It’s only when he’s got an irritated delivery boy in front of him that Steve realizes he’s out of change.
“Shit. Hey, Danny, do you have some change?”
“Yeah, check my wallet.”
Steve gesture at the delivery guy to wait a second and he leaves the pizza on the table next to him to check Danny’s pockets, getting his wallet out. The thing is light brown, battered and used and falling apart, and Steve makes a mental note about finding out when Danny’s birthday is.
When he opens the wallet to get the money something falls out of it; Steve pays the delivery guy before picking it up, realizing it’s a photo, neatly folded and apparently on the verge of falling apart. It’s the picture of a scan.
“Danny?”
“Yeah?”
Steve frowns down at the picture, unable to stop himself. What does that mean, exactly?
“Pizza.”
Danny appears from the living room, but Steve is still a little frozen, not sure what to do. After a moment, Danny’s next to him and taking the picture from his fingers.
“I was going to tell you about that. Over dinner.”
Steve looks at him, blinking once, his heart beating a little faster as he watches Danny’s thumb brush over the blurry black-and-white image.
“Tell me about what?”
“Come on, let’s sit down and eat and I’ll tell you everything.”
Danny’s hand is still warm when it cups his elbow, guiding him back to the living room. Steve feels almost dazed, half-shutting the rest of the world out as he tries to work out what exactly Danny has to tell him, his defence mechanism kicking in full-force.
“So, um, here’s the thing. After you left last time, I, uh, I met a girl - well, woman, actually. Rachel. She’s from England, she works in a bank in New York. We went out a few times, she’d spend the night, nothing serious.”
Steve nods, trying to dig his fingers into his leg as discreetly as possible at the flare of jealousy that settles in his stomach, catching him off-guard.
“And then one day she calls me, says ‘guess what? You’re gonna be a dad’, which came as quite a surprise because I always thought we were being careful, you know? Anyway, the long and the short of it is that this here? This is my daughter.”
Danny shows Steve the picture again, and that’s when Steve starts dropping, the ground opening under him and he just free falls into the unknown, the world a black pit around him. He shakes out of his daze, finding his footing again and trying his best to control his breathing as his eyes focus on Danny. He looks worried, and Steve feels like an asshole, selfish and filled up with cowardice again, because he wants to run. For a moment there, he really wants to run.
And it’s not that he’s not happy for Danny, not really, it’s more fear, intense and unforgiving, eating away at his stomach and making the idea of pizza absolutely disgusting as he thinks about it. Danny’s about to be a dad. He’s the good kind of man, the kind that does the right thing. He’s probably getting married to that Rachel woman.
And Steve might want to run because he doesn’t want to deal with how that fact makes him feel, but that’s just unfair, so fucking unfair on Danny. He can’t do that; he couldn’t have done it on the first day they met, he can even less do it now.
“You’ve gone pale, Steve.”
“I’m sorry. Congratulations? Are you - happy?”
It takes him a moment, but then the frown on Danny’s face turns into a smile, easy and loose and glorious, so beautiful Steve can’t see anything else.
“Yeah. Fuck yeah, Steve, I thought - I thought I wasn’t going to have kids, you know? Not with the choices I made but then. I didn’t expect it, but I’m over the moon.”
“So, you and Rachel, you, um.”
Danny’s face closes up again, and the way he punches Steve’s shoulder reminds him of last time and of better memories than that, the good memories that Steve carefully folds in the corners of his mind and takes out whenever he needs to.
“Do you think I would have been kissing you the way I was if Rachel and I were together? What kind of guy do you think I am? I’m not that man, Steve, okay, I wouldn’t do that. Not to her, not to you. No, she and I - we didn’t work. We’re from different worlds. We’re friends, though, and I’ll get to see Grace whenever I want. Grace. That’s what we’re calling her.”
Steve swallows again, his tongue feeling thick in his mouth. He nods, trying a tentative smile when Danny’s hand covers his, stilling the tremors he hadn’t realised were there. Fuck. He’s in far deeper than he’s acknowledged.
“That’s a pretty name.”
“Yeah, well, I just hope she gets Rachel’s looks to match up to it.”
“You’re pretty, too, Danny.”
“Fuck off.”
Danny squeezes his hand as he says it though, and okay, Danny’s not getting married to Rachel, Danny’s here with him. And Steve can deal with this. He can deal with Danny having Grace in his life, because she’ll make him happy, she’ll make him a little more complete, accomplished .
“You okay, Steve?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I’m, I’m happy for you, Danny. You’re a family guy.”
Steve smiles as he says it, eyes boring into Danny’s, but he doesn’t mean to mock, or to talk about Danny’s less reputable side of the family. He means it with every fiber of his being, and it’s something that makes Danny who he is so much Steve can only appreciate it. He wishes he was more like that himself, that his dad was more like that.
“You looked on the verge of a freak out for a moment here, you know? Which is sort of ironic, if you want my opinion, because in all of this,” Danny gestures between the two of them, his hands moving rapidly. “That thing we’re doing, I wouldn’t have thought you’d end up being the possessive one. Steve, I had no idea you’d ever be back.”
“I know. I know - I’m sorry I freaked. It’s just. One minute you’re kissing me like a starved man and the next, you tell me you’re about to be a dad. But I get it. I get it. And I’m happy for you, I really am.”
“Good. Now, we should eat this pizza before it gets cold, and then we should continue where we left off.”
“Or we could save the pizza ‘til later.”
Steve moves in closer again, brushing his lips against Danny’s. He can’t stop himself from pouting a little when Danny pushes him away though.
“Hey, hey, this is good pizza we’re wasting here. Now you eat your pineapple monstrosity and then we’ll see about the rest, Private Grabby.”
“That’s Lieutenant Commander Grabby, actually. I got promoted.”
Steve can’t keep the note of pride out of his voice, sitting up a little straighter despite Danny looking distinctly unimpressed.
“Is that right? So, I bet they got you doing extra classified stuff now. Extra dangerous, extra classified stuff.”
“Actually, it means I get to boss more people around.”
Danny grins easily before standing up and going to get the pizzas, coming back with them and some napkins, dropping them all on the coffee table.
“Bet you love that. Hey, got beer?”
“I, huh, no. Didn’t go groceries shopping yet.”
He watches Danny dig into his pizza, hardly believing how this is happening. The conversation keeps on flowing despite Danny’s big announcement, as if it was nothing, but now, Steve can see it, the subtle changes, the way he smiles bigger and his eyes shine brighter, the way he holds himself up straighter, and how he’s more careful with his clothes, using a napkin to make sure he’s not dripping grease all over his pants. It’s all a little endearing, to Steve.
“Well, my friend, this is a big mistake. First thing we’re doing tomorrow is going groceries shopping.”
“It’s not actually that late, you know.”
“Yeah, but there is no way we’re leaving this place again today. I am hoping than in about fifteen minutes we’ll both be naked and we have 7 months to catch up on. I’m sure you got new scars I need to get acquainted with.”
Steve can think of at least four off the top of his head, but it’ll be much more fun to let Danny discover them for himself, so he keeps quiet and shrugs, reaching out to grab one of the pizza boxes. The smell when he opens it reminds him of home, making his gut clench for a moment. He pushes the memories to one side and looks up at Danny as he takes his first bite, making an exaggerated noise of enjoyment as the sweetness of the pineapple hits his taste buds.
“Disgusting. What do I ever see in you, huh? I can’t believe I let you do all those things to me with that mouth.”
Steve waggles his eyebrows over his pizza, wolfing down the rest of his slice before taking another one. He hasn’t eaten properly since he arrived in New Jersey and his stomach is growling its thanks loudly even as he eats. Danny’s chuckling as he eats his own, elbowing Steve in the ribs every now and then until Steve gives up and pushes Danny down, taking the half-eaten slice of pizza out of Danny’s hand and dropping it into the box as he kisses him.
“Hey, I wasn’t - done - yet.”
Danny protests between kisses, but Steve’s grip is firm, holding Danny’s wrists, keeping his arms out to the sides, smiling as he presses his mouth to Danny’s neck, nipping gently.
“You taste of pineapple, you know.”
“I know.”
“That wasn’t a compliment, Steven.”
“I’m sure you’ll deal.”
“Oh yeah? How do you expect me to do that, huh?”
Steve grins, heat flushing through his body as he slides a hand down along Danny’s chest, licking his lips when he gets to his jeans, popping open the button with his thumb.
“I’m sure I can find ways.”
Danny’s eyes are dark when Steve looks into them again, and all the questions Steve has, about Rachel and about Grace and about what the fuck they are going to do now fly right out of his mind when he slides off the sofa and opens Danny’s jeans at the same time. Danny shifts and settles more comfortably on the couch, but Steve can feel his tense muscles under his hands anyway, the anticipation running high between the two of them.
They haven’t rushed to this, and now Steve can feel lust pulsing in his veins, a sleeping snake awakened by Danny that is now coiling around Steve’s insides, demanding to be fed. Steve knows already that nothing about this will be soft or slow, his body already humming with need.
He tugs Danny’s jeans down to his ankles, smiling to himself when he sees the condom and lube packets fall out of one of the pockets as they bunch up. He leans forward and kisses the inside of Danny’s thigh, moving slowly toward his groin, licking and nipping at all the sensitive spots he still remembers, making Danny grunt and fidget above him.
“And I’m the Boy Scout?”
“Shut up.”
Steve laughs into Danny’s skin, feeling the heat radiating from Danny’s crotch by his ear as he gets further up. Danny’s cock is hard and twitching in his underwear, soaking a damp patch that Steve can’t resist taking into his mouth. Danny groans loudly, one hand falling onto the back of Steve’s head as he licks and sucks at the fabric covering the head of Danny’s dick. Steve lets out a moan of his own, his head swimming as Danny’s taste assaults his senses again after all these months, making his own hard-on throb in his pants.
Steve tugs at the fabric with his teeth, pulling it down, curling his fingers in the waistband of Danny’s boxers to take them off. Danny lifts his hips eagerly, and when Steve looks up, his mouth hovering above Danny’s dick, their eyes meet, fire and lust and even more there. Danny’s lips are parted, his breaths deliberately slow as he brings a hand to the side of Steve’s face, thumb tracing his bottom lip. Steve licks the tip of it before grinning and leaning in, sliding his mouth around Danny’s cock, taking him in as deep as he can.
Steve recalls the memories of how Danny tastes and the sounds he makes and compares them to this, this right now, and nothing has really changed, and everything about Danny is still overpowering. Steve closes his eyes and lets himself be washed out by the sensations, by how hot Danny’s erection is against his tongue and how gorgeous Danny sounds when he gasps and pants, how Steve’s own cock jumps and twitches when Danny raises his hips the tiniest fraction.
When Steve opens his eyes again he sees Danny’s got his hands curled tight in the sofa cushions and his eyes are screwed shut, his mouth still open and the most delicious little keening noises escaping him from time to time. Steve shivers, excitement sparking up and down his spine, his fingers tingling as he runs his hands up and down Danny’s calves on either side of him, then up along his thighs, reaching Danny’s waist. He pushes Danny’s shirt up, leaving one hand resting on the firm muscles of his stomach, feeling his shallow breaths, the hitches every time Steve hollows his cheeks and sucks harder for a moment.
“Fuck, Steve.”
Steve pulls away, his mouth making an obscene wet noise when he does, and he grins up at Danny, licking his lips before leaning down to kiss around Danny’s thighs, feeling them tremble under his lips, moving on to Danny’s balls and teasing for a while, just to make Danny hiss and moan. Steve needs him to lose his mind so badly it makes him ache all over.
“Jesus, soldier, could you stop being such a fucking tease?”
“And do what? Suck you dry or fuck you into the couch?”
“Good God, whatever you want, Steve, I. Fuck, yeah, anything, want you so fucking much, you have no idea.”
Steve sits back on his heels, licking his lips as he keeps his hands moving over Danny’s thighs, thumbs swirling patterns in the hairs that tickle his palms. The position pulls his pants tight across his crotch and he watches Danny’s eyes flick down to check him out, before coming back up to meet Steve’s gaze. Steve grins, pulling his shirt off and dropping it next to him. He comes forward on his knees and grabs the hem of Danny’s shirt, tugging it up and off over his head, throwing it over the back of the couch.
“Turn around.”
He’s already got hold of Danny’s hips as he speaks, moving him until he’s facing the back of the couch, knees spread wide, that perfect ass right in front of Steve’s face. He slides his hands down from Danny’s hips and takes a cheek in each one, opening him up as he leans forward and licks a stripe over Danny’s hole, feeling it clench and relax under his tongue. Danny makes a choking sound, pushing his hips back, and Steve repeats his action, reaching down with one hand to undo his fly, getting his pants and boxers down to his knees. His cock is weeping when he gets a hand around it, making him shudder out an exhale as he presses his tongue to Danny’s perineum, rubbing over the spot with the tip of it.
“Jesus, Steve. You’re - killing me.”
Steve moves away again with another kiss to the back of Danny’s balls, looking for the lube. He slicks up two fingers and drags them up from the spot he’d been licking a moment ago until they’re circling Danny’s entrance, and Danny’s rocking back onto them.
“Please, Steve.”
Steve has got Danny exactly where he wants him, writhing and a fine sheen of sweat sticking to his skin, losing his usual verve to revert to pleas. And fuck if it doesn’t almost bring Steve to the edge, looking at Danny like that, sprawled over the couch with his ass an offer to Steve’s hands and mouth and cock, listening to him beg softly, his noises muffled into the sofa. He has to tighten his grip on his own cock to keep from coming over the back of Danny’s calves as he pushes a finger inside Danny and earns himself a long, drawn-out moan, full of desperation and need.
It’s not easy for him to keep a steady rhythm at first, opening Danny up for him, adding a second finger when Danny starts moaning louder, letting out harsher words, his control slipping away from him in the most amazing way. He clenches his muscles around Steve’s fingers, pulling them in deeper, and when Steve nudges his prostate Danny jerks, forcing a sharp breath out of Steve.
“Just - fuck me, will you, c’mon, Steve.”
“Yeah, yeah, Jesus, yes,” Steve murmurs into Danny’s hip, adding a third finger to the other two before letting go of his cock and reaching blindly for a condom on the floor.
He drops kisses along Danny’s side, his ass cheek and the back of his thigh, pulling away from him when Danny starts rubbing against the sofa, little high-pitched, desperate moans escaping his throat. Steve rolls the condom on with slippery, shaking fingers, smearing what’s left of the lube in the sachet onto the head of his now covered dick and taking a few deep breaths. He feels a bit like a teenager at his first time, out of practice and a little overwhelmed as he surveys the scene in front of him, working out the logistics of getting up on the couch behind Danny.
Instead, he pulls Danny backwards, off the sofa and onto the floor with him, their legs tangling with their pants still around both their ankles and knees, until Steve’s got his legs either side of Danny’s and his cock lined up and finally, finally, pushing in.
Danny’s body is hot and welcoming, eating up every inch of him as he presses in steadily, both of them groaning low in their throats. Steve leans over Danny’s back as he rests his forehead on the seat cushions , one hand gripping Steve’s wrist tightly, the other braced against the couch itself. The fake leather squeaks as Steve rocks into Danny’s body a few times, shallow thrusts that have him barely moving inside Danny’s ass, but are enough to make his throat go dry at the sensation. Steve bites at the back of Danny’s neck, twisting his arm out of Danny’s grip until he can grab Danny’s hand , slotting his fingers between Danny’s and squeezing tight enough that he can feel his nails digging into Danny’s palm.
“Okay?”
“Stupid question, McGarrett.”
Steve smiles, pressing his face into Danny’s neck for a moment, feeling the muscles and Danny’s pulse, beating rapidly in sync with Steve’s as the two of them move together, pressing and pulling. Danny rolls his hips into Steve’s and Steve moans into Danny’s neck, digging his teeth in the flesh he finds under his mouth, unable to help himself. It makes Danny jerk harder, a broken noise leaving him, raw and loud.
Steve’s world reduces to this, to Danny underneath him, to his skin glistening in the dim light and his wrenched sounds and his rolling hips and tight ass. Nothing else matters for Steve, his focus only on Danny; the universe could explode around them and he wouldn’t move, wouldn’t change a thing about this particular moment
He can feel that he’s not going to last, Danny too tight around him, clenching his muscles every now and then and pulling sounds out of Steve he had no idea he could make, but he’ll take as long as he’s got, his thrusts picking up speed as he brushes Danny’s prostate.
Danny suddenly exhales sharply and straightens up, shifting the two of them on a kneeling position and pulling Steve even deeper inside him. Steve’s movements are restricted in this position but he can run his hands over Danny’s chest, collecting sweat, and when he wraps his hand around Danny’s cock it slides easy and hot.
“Steve. Jesus.”
Steve’s hand squeezes involuntarily at the sound of his name falling from Danny’s mouth like that, sounding so broken and strung out. He starts stroking Danny’s cock in earnest; strong, firm pulls in time with the snaps of his hips, bringing their joined hands up to Danny’s chest again, pulling him back into his own. Danny’s head lolls onto Steve’s shoulder, tilted just enough that Steve can turn his own and bring their mouths together in a messy semblance of a kiss, little more than tongues meeting in the air between them. It doesn’t matter, though, because Steve’s not sure he could co-ordinate his mouth to do anything else right now; his mind is only capable of Danny, and hot, and perfect, and missed this, missed this so much.
Steve sits back, taking Danny with him until he’s sitting in Steve’s lap, burying himself as deep as he can in Danny’s ass, and it’s ridiculous, how they’re still half dressed, on the floor of Steve’s rented apartment, too desperate to even move to the bedroom, but he wouldn’t change anything.
“Steve. Steve, fuck. Oh, God, yes. Yes.”
The words keep spilling out of Danny’s mouth, broken sentences and all those little noises - the half moans, grunts, gasps - shoot straight to Steve’s cock, and it’s not long before the pull in his stomach is too great, the ache in his balls turning almost painful until Danny lets out a particularly ragged moan, his ass clenching hard around Steve’s dick and that’s it, he’s gone.
Steve lets out a long, loud moan as he comes, burying his face in Danny’s skin, panting through his release. His hand stops moving on Danny’s erection but is soon covered by Danny’s own sweaty fingers wrapping around his and between them they get Danny over the edge, soaking their knuckles and the carpet in front of them.
“Holy shit.”
part two
sirona_gs. stjarna1984 and theellibu supported me through this and I love them for it. So to all 3 of these ladies, thank youuuuu. Longest chapter so far I believe! IN FACT IT IT TOO LARGE FOR LJ HOMFG.
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
February 2008
February in Jersey feels like fucking Siberia is all Steve can think as he waits, blowing on his freezing fingers from time to time. He keeps on waiting, though, stays right where he is, close to the gym’s doors, where he can’t be missed and cannot miss anyone walking in
He could go back to the apartment he’s renting for the length of his stay and stare at the empty walls for a while, or try to forget about the last mission with some shit TV. He could do all that, but every time he closes his eyes he feels the clinging heat of the Somalian plains, remembers the blood of Walker’s gut wound that Steve had not managed to keep from getting infected. When he closes his eyes, Steve sees the dead eyes of his brother-in-arms and the haunting smile on his lips; he smells the dirt that he’s still sneezing out now, the kind that clings to lungs and skin. When he closes his eyes he can remember the orders he’d been given and how sour they’d tasted in his mouth when he’d had to relay them.
And when they were allowed a couple hours of sleep, he can recall a few times where Danny’s face appeared behind his eyelids, his gruff morning voice enveloping Steve, his compact body a memory of warmth that was welcomed. Only a couple of times it happened, but a couple of times is enough for Steve to want to see him again, to see those eyes smiling brightly at him.
Danny isn’t at his apartment when Steve stops by - maybe he’d moved, as he said he was thinking of. He’s not at the gym, either, so Steve finds a bench nearby, sits himself down and waits. It’s early enough in the day that Danny is bound to come by - he’s never trusted Vince with the place.
Steve isn’t stupid or naive enough not to know it’s probable Danny has moved on; he’d thought it already when he came back last time, only to be lucky. This time maybe he won’t be; but Steve is a Navy SEAL, he can deal with a little bout of heartbreak, it’s not that big a deal. It’s not like he’s in love or anything like that.
So Steve waits. The cold keeps him awake, alert, and he allows himself to stop his watch for five minutes while he goes to get a coffee in the joint across the street - it tastes like dishwater, and Steve ends up just using it to soak up some warmth, looking at the people walking in and out of the gym.
It’s been more than two hours when Steve recognizes Danny’s car, coming in to park near the entrance, just a few feet away from him. Steve stands up, his muscles stiff with the cold and his fingers tingling, and looks at Danny, who sits behind the wheel of his car for a long while, just looking back. He licks his lips and bites them together before he steps out of the car, closing the door with a palm as he walks towards Steve. Steve, who is feeling more and more jittery, feelings he’s suppressed since his teenage years bubbling in his stomach. He said goodbye last time, Danny shouldn’t be angry. He shifts on the balls of his feet, hands deep in his pockets.
“Hi.”
“Hi. I wonder if I should punch you right now.”
“...What?”
Danny makes a little face, a half shrug.
“Just to make sure you’re real.”
Steve smiles and Danny does too, rueful and gruff, and Steve takes the time to think that Danny looks more polished than he used to - his hair slicked back, longer than it used to be, his face clean shaved, his jaw sharper than in Steve’s memories.
His train of thoughts is stopped dead in its tracks when Danny pushes Steve to a small alleyway around the gym building, hiding them from the street and people walking past. The alley smells of dank garbage and piss but Steve doesn’t mind when Danny wraps his arms around his ribs and pulls him close, nose searching for the dip in Steve’s collarbone through his clothes and coat. Steve hugs back, wrapping his arms around Danny and taking in the sweet tangy smell of his hair. He’s solid in a way Steve has missed, and well, it’s been 7 months since anyone gave him a hug.
It’s silly little things like that. He isn’t visiting his dad, nor Mary Ann this time; he can’t quite deal with the idea of facing either of them, facing the memories. His dad has not been anything but a shadow of himself since Steve’s mother died, and May Ann is so angry all the time it breaks Steve’s heart too much.
“How long you got?”
Danny’s words are muffled against Steve’s neck, his breaths warm puffs of air against Steve’s cold skin. Steve’s stomach twists, unwilling to let go of Danny, so he squeezes him a little tighter, his eyes drifting close as he brushes the outside of Danny’s ear with his nose.
“Ten days.”
Danny pulls away gingerly, grinning up at Steve as he keeps his hands tucked around Steve’s sides, thumbs hooked in Steve’s coat pockets. If he’s moved on, he’s not showing any signs of it.
“It gets longer and longer, how nice.”
Steve can see there are other words on the tip of his tongue, but Danny apparently swallows them down, a cloud passing over his face. Steve reaches up absentmindedly, brushes the back of his fingers down Danny’s cheek, and Danny takes in a sharp breath, closing his eyes and turning his head slightly, parted lips catching on Steve’s skin for an instant, enough to make Steve’s eyes burn and his stomach drop with raw need.
“I, um, I have to go in for a while, check on everything. Do you - what do you want to do? You can come in with me, have a workout if you want? And then we can grab some food.”
“We can do that. I’m renting a place 5 minutes from here.”
Danny smiles and snorts, his fingers curled in Steve’s coat pockets now. Steve’s hand is still framing Danny’s face, and he wants to dig his fingers in Danny’s hair so badly they tremble a little.
“Alright, sounds good. Okay. Let’s, then.”
It’s fucking difficult for both of them to pull away, but they manage somehow, and maybe they’re not really subtle when they walk inside Williams’, but at this point, Steve doesn’t care anymore, because Danny is still single and free and he’s not about to get married and have 2.5 kids with a pretty blonde from Arkansas. Steve can deal with being unsubtle when his heart is fit to make his chest burst.
---
It’s a few hours before Steve and Danny are settled in the small one bedroom apartment he’s renting. He’s paying an arm and a leg for it but it’s so close to the gym that he couldn’t resist when he saw the ad. There’s no point in having as much money as Steve’s got, and not spend it at all. He’s got enough saved in case of an emergency, in case Mary Ann and his dad have to plan his funeral.
“What do you want to eat?”
They’re both sitting on the couch, close enough to touch, staring at the turned off TV in front of them. Danny’s got his fingers curled around Steve’s sweater sleeve and Steve is testing how soft Danny’s hair is. They have yet to talk about anything else than right now; they have yet to kiss. Somehow Steve isn’t in a hurry to get Danny naked, writhing and sweaty underneath him. Somehow he’s happy with Danny’s warm weight against him and his smiles and his eyes turning a little soft when he looks at Steve.
“Don’t mind.”
“Well then, it shall be pizza - my cousin’s Jay got a pizza place a few blocks away, he usually gives me a discount.”
“It’s a wonder why you’re not fat.”
“I work out a lot.”
Steve smirks, letting his fingers run through Danny’s hair until they’re settled on the back of his neck, rubbing back and forth over the short hairs there, just above his collar.
“Perks of owning a gym, right?”
Danny doesn’t answer, just leans his head into Steve’s touch, turning so his cheek is resting on the inside of Steve’s wrist, his five o’clock shadow tickling the thin skin there. Steve swallows, feeling his smirk fade into another smile, and he should probably stop just gazing at Danny and actually call for the damn pizza before they go hungry, but he’s happy where he is.
It takes Danny to move just enough to kiss the inside of Steve’s wrist for Steve to take a sharp breath and pull away, his stomach going funny with feelings as he stands and goes to his coat to grab his phone. He throws it on Danny’s lap when he returns, fitting himself close once again, shoulder to shoulder, his fingers lightly pressing into Danny’s thigh.
“Go on then, call your cousin.”
“What do you want?”
“Whatever you’re having, since I’m sure they don’t do ham and pineapple.”
Danny sighs dramatically, thumbing the number in the phone.
“You know, I think it’s a complete travesty that these would be your favorite pizza toppings, but since I quite like you and seeing your face happy, and because I haven’t seen you in a while, I’ll ask him if it’s on the menu.”
“You are so magnanimous.”
“Big word, don’t choke on it, soldier.”
Steve snorts, punching Danny’s leg and ducking out of the way when he turns to retaliate, the phone already at his ear.
“Son of a- hey, Jay, it’s your favourite cousin! Ha ha, no, not Matty. Wise guy. I wanted to ask you a favor. I got a buddy round, he’s from one of those weird states that do barbaric things to their pies - yeah, I know, I know, no respect. Anyway, you do Hawaiian? Oh, you do? Send one over, will ya? And one of my usual. Yeah. Yeah, grazie , eh? I’ll see you later.”
Steve finds himself grinning, listening to Danny rattle on the address, his accent getting thicker, hand gestures larger, the same as when he’s speaking to his uncle at the gym. He hides his smile in Danny’s shoulder when he hangs up, dropping Steve’s coat and phone onto the floor in front of the couch.
“Hey, Danny, think you could say ‘forget about it’ for me?”
“For- wait, why?”
Steve laughs again, his shoulders shaking slightly as he buries his face further behind Danny’s shoulder, pushing between the back of the sofa and Danny. Danny grumbles, flicking the tip of Steve’s ear that is still visible to him.
“Asshole, just you wait until I catch you say anything remotely Hawaiian -”
Steve extracts himself, looking straight at Danny with the biggest grin on his face. Fuck, how easy is it to fall back into this? He’s so damned comfortable right now he’s not even thinking about the fact that he’s not carrying any weapons. And it’s surprisingly easy for the words I missed you to mark themselves around Danny’s name when he thinks about it.
“Pidgin.”
“Pi what?”
“Pidgin. That’s the name of the language. Well, the slang. In Hawaii.”
“Is it because it’s bird noises?”
Steve rolls his eyes, then raises an eyebrow when Danny doesn’t look like he’s kidding.
“No, it’s not bird noises, Danny. It’s just what it’s called. It’s a mixture of a bunch of languages. The locals call it ‘bird’.”
“I see.”
Danny taps his chin, obviously trying to look thoughtful, but his eyes are sparkling, and Steve’s had enough of talking now, and they’ve probably got a few minutes yet before their food arrives, so he leans in, pressing Danny into the couch cushions. He can feel Danny’s breath on his cheek as he runs the tip of his nose along the length of Danny’s, pressing his lips gently to the crease between Danny’s eyes before moving down, brushing his pursed mouth to the end of Danny’s nose, then licking Danny’s bottom lip, sweeping the flat of his tongue softly over and in as Danny parts his lips for him.
There’s a soft rush of an exhalation before Danny leans up and drags him further in, one hand on the back of Steve’s head, holding him still, the other already sliding up under his sweater, solid warm fingers pressing into Steve’s ribs. He moves his tongue slowly against Danny’s, savoring the taste of him, retreating back into his own mouth and drawing Danny with him, all but swallowing him down. Danny breaks off but only to nip at Steve’s lip before diving back in, both of them groaning a little when Danny pulls Steve to lie down on top of him, bodies sliding on the fake leather of the couch.
Steve’s lips tingle with stubble burn when he pulls back a while later, black dots of oxygen deprivation dancing in front of his eyes briefly. He blinks them away, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth as he looks down at Danny, taking in the flushed cheeks and mussed hair. This is the face he’d seen in those moments on a mission, when he’d allowed himself to think.
“Steve?”
They both seem to have completely forgotten about the pizzas, but a knock on the door reminds them, and Steve is thankful of the distraction from whatever Danny was about to ask. He scrambles up, kissing Danny once again, briefly, just because, and then goes to open the door and pay. It’s only when he’s got an irritated delivery boy in front of him that Steve realizes he’s out of change.
“Shit. Hey, Danny, do you have some change?”
“Yeah, check my wallet.”
Steve gesture at the delivery guy to wait a second and he leaves the pizza on the table next to him to check Danny’s pockets, getting his wallet out. The thing is light brown, battered and used and falling apart, and Steve makes a mental note about finding out when Danny’s birthday is.
When he opens the wallet to get the money something falls out of it; Steve pays the delivery guy before picking it up, realizing it’s a photo, neatly folded and apparently on the verge of falling apart. It’s the picture of a scan.
“Danny?”
“Yeah?”
Steve frowns down at the picture, unable to stop himself. What does that mean, exactly?
“Pizza.”
Danny appears from the living room, but Steve is still a little frozen, not sure what to do. After a moment, Danny’s next to him and taking the picture from his fingers.
“I was going to tell you about that. Over dinner.”
Steve looks at him, blinking once, his heart beating a little faster as he watches Danny’s thumb brush over the blurry black-and-white image.
“Tell me about what?”
“Come on, let’s sit down and eat and I’ll tell you everything.”
Danny’s hand is still warm when it cups his elbow, guiding him back to the living room. Steve feels almost dazed, half-shutting the rest of the world out as he tries to work out what exactly Danny has to tell him, his defence mechanism kicking in full-force.
“So, um, here’s the thing. After you left last time, I, uh, I met a girl - well, woman, actually. Rachel. She’s from England, she works in a bank in New York. We went out a few times, she’d spend the night, nothing serious.”
Steve nods, trying to dig his fingers into his leg as discreetly as possible at the flare of jealousy that settles in his stomach, catching him off-guard.
“And then one day she calls me, says ‘guess what? You’re gonna be a dad’, which came as quite a surprise because I always thought we were being careful, you know? Anyway, the long and the short of it is that this here? This is my daughter.”
Danny shows Steve the picture again, and that’s when Steve starts dropping, the ground opening under him and he just free falls into the unknown, the world a black pit around him. He shakes out of his daze, finding his footing again and trying his best to control his breathing as his eyes focus on Danny. He looks worried, and Steve feels like an asshole, selfish and filled up with cowardice again, because he wants to run. For a moment there, he really wants to run.
And it’s not that he’s not happy for Danny, not really, it’s more fear, intense and unforgiving, eating away at his stomach and making the idea of pizza absolutely disgusting as he thinks about it. Danny’s about to be a dad. He’s the good kind of man, the kind that does the right thing. He’s probably getting married to that Rachel woman.
And Steve might want to run because he doesn’t want to deal with how that fact makes him feel, but that’s just unfair, so fucking unfair on Danny. He can’t do that; he couldn’t have done it on the first day they met, he can even less do it now.
“You’ve gone pale, Steve.”
“I’m sorry. Congratulations? Are you - happy?”
It takes him a moment, but then the frown on Danny’s face turns into a smile, easy and loose and glorious, so beautiful Steve can’t see anything else.
“Yeah. Fuck yeah, Steve, I thought - I thought I wasn’t going to have kids, you know? Not with the choices I made but then. I didn’t expect it, but I’m over the moon.”
“So, you and Rachel, you, um.”
Danny’s face closes up again, and the way he punches Steve’s shoulder reminds him of last time and of better memories than that, the good memories that Steve carefully folds in the corners of his mind and takes out whenever he needs to.
“Do you think I would have been kissing you the way I was if Rachel and I were together? What kind of guy do you think I am? I’m not that man, Steve, okay, I wouldn’t do that. Not to her, not to you. No, she and I - we didn’t work. We’re from different worlds. We’re friends, though, and I’ll get to see Grace whenever I want. Grace. That’s what we’re calling her.”
Steve swallows again, his tongue feeling thick in his mouth. He nods, trying a tentative smile when Danny’s hand covers his, stilling the tremors he hadn’t realised were there. Fuck. He’s in far deeper than he’s acknowledged.
“That’s a pretty name.”
“Yeah, well, I just hope she gets Rachel’s looks to match up to it.”
“You’re pretty, too, Danny.”
“Fuck off.”
Danny squeezes his hand as he says it though, and okay, Danny’s not getting married to Rachel, Danny’s here with him. And Steve can deal with this. He can deal with Danny having Grace in his life, because she’ll make him happy, she’ll make him a little more complete, accomplished .
“You okay, Steve?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I’m, I’m happy for you, Danny. You’re a family guy.”
Steve smiles as he says it, eyes boring into Danny’s, but he doesn’t mean to mock, or to talk about Danny’s less reputable side of the family. He means it with every fiber of his being, and it’s something that makes Danny who he is so much Steve can only appreciate it. He wishes he was more like that himself, that his dad was more like that.
“You looked on the verge of a freak out for a moment here, you know? Which is sort of ironic, if you want my opinion, because in all of this,” Danny gestures between the two of them, his hands moving rapidly. “That thing we’re doing, I wouldn’t have thought you’d end up being the possessive one. Steve, I had no idea you’d ever be back.”
“I know. I know - I’m sorry I freaked. It’s just. One minute you’re kissing me like a starved man and the next, you tell me you’re about to be a dad. But I get it. I get it. And I’m happy for you, I really am.”
“Good. Now, we should eat this pizza before it gets cold, and then we should continue where we left off.”
“Or we could save the pizza ‘til later.”
Steve moves in closer again, brushing his lips against Danny’s. He can’t stop himself from pouting a little when Danny pushes him away though.
“Hey, hey, this is good pizza we’re wasting here. Now you eat your pineapple monstrosity and then we’ll see about the rest, Private Grabby.”
“That’s Lieutenant Commander Grabby, actually. I got promoted.”
Steve can’t keep the note of pride out of his voice, sitting up a little straighter despite Danny looking distinctly unimpressed.
“Is that right? So, I bet they got you doing extra classified stuff now. Extra dangerous, extra classified stuff.”
“Actually, it means I get to boss more people around.”
Danny grins easily before standing up and going to get the pizzas, coming back with them and some napkins, dropping them all on the coffee table.
“Bet you love that. Hey, got beer?”
“I, huh, no. Didn’t go groceries shopping yet.”
He watches Danny dig into his pizza, hardly believing how this is happening. The conversation keeps on flowing despite Danny’s big announcement, as if it was nothing, but now, Steve can see it, the subtle changes, the way he smiles bigger and his eyes shine brighter, the way he holds himself up straighter, and how he’s more careful with his clothes, using a napkin to make sure he’s not dripping grease all over his pants. It’s all a little endearing, to Steve.
“Well, my friend, this is a big mistake. First thing we’re doing tomorrow is going groceries shopping.”
“It’s not actually that late, you know.”
“Yeah, but there is no way we’re leaving this place again today. I am hoping than in about fifteen minutes we’ll both be naked and we have 7 months to catch up on. I’m sure you got new scars I need to get acquainted with.”
Steve can think of at least four off the top of his head, but it’ll be much more fun to let Danny discover them for himself, so he keeps quiet and shrugs, reaching out to grab one of the pizza boxes. The smell when he opens it reminds him of home, making his gut clench for a moment. He pushes the memories to one side and looks up at Danny as he takes his first bite, making an exaggerated noise of enjoyment as the sweetness of the pineapple hits his taste buds.
“Disgusting. What do I ever see in you, huh? I can’t believe I let you do all those things to me with that mouth.”
Steve waggles his eyebrows over his pizza, wolfing down the rest of his slice before taking another one. He hasn’t eaten properly since he arrived in New Jersey and his stomach is growling its thanks loudly even as he eats. Danny’s chuckling as he eats his own, elbowing Steve in the ribs every now and then until Steve gives up and pushes Danny down, taking the half-eaten slice of pizza out of Danny’s hand and dropping it into the box as he kisses him.
“Hey, I wasn’t - done - yet.”
Danny protests between kisses, but Steve’s grip is firm, holding Danny’s wrists, keeping his arms out to the sides, smiling as he presses his mouth to Danny’s neck, nipping gently.
“You taste of pineapple, you know.”
“I know.”
“That wasn’t a compliment, Steven.”
“I’m sure you’ll deal.”
“Oh yeah? How do you expect me to do that, huh?”
Steve grins, heat flushing through his body as he slides a hand down along Danny’s chest, licking his lips when he gets to his jeans, popping open the button with his thumb.
“I’m sure I can find ways.”
Danny’s eyes are dark when Steve looks into them again, and all the questions Steve has, about Rachel and about Grace and about what the fuck they are going to do now fly right out of his mind when he slides off the sofa and opens Danny’s jeans at the same time. Danny shifts and settles more comfortably on the couch, but Steve can feel his tense muscles under his hands anyway, the anticipation running high between the two of them.
They haven’t rushed to this, and now Steve can feel lust pulsing in his veins, a sleeping snake awakened by Danny that is now coiling around Steve’s insides, demanding to be fed. Steve knows already that nothing about this will be soft or slow, his body already humming with need.
He tugs Danny’s jeans down to his ankles, smiling to himself when he sees the condom and lube packets fall out of one of the pockets as they bunch up. He leans forward and kisses the inside of Danny’s thigh, moving slowly toward his groin, licking and nipping at all the sensitive spots he still remembers, making Danny grunt and fidget above him.
“And I’m the Boy Scout?”
“Shut up.”
Steve laughs into Danny’s skin, feeling the heat radiating from Danny’s crotch by his ear as he gets further up. Danny’s cock is hard and twitching in his underwear, soaking a damp patch that Steve can’t resist taking into his mouth. Danny groans loudly, one hand falling onto the back of Steve’s head as he licks and sucks at the fabric covering the head of Danny’s dick. Steve lets out a moan of his own, his head swimming as Danny’s taste assaults his senses again after all these months, making his own hard-on throb in his pants.
Steve tugs at the fabric with his teeth, pulling it down, curling his fingers in the waistband of Danny’s boxers to take them off. Danny lifts his hips eagerly, and when Steve looks up, his mouth hovering above Danny’s dick, their eyes meet, fire and lust and even more there. Danny’s lips are parted, his breaths deliberately slow as he brings a hand to the side of Steve’s face, thumb tracing his bottom lip. Steve licks the tip of it before grinning and leaning in, sliding his mouth around Danny’s cock, taking him in as deep as he can.
Steve recalls the memories of how Danny tastes and the sounds he makes and compares them to this, this right now, and nothing has really changed, and everything about Danny is still overpowering. Steve closes his eyes and lets himself be washed out by the sensations, by how hot Danny’s erection is against his tongue and how gorgeous Danny sounds when he gasps and pants, how Steve’s own cock jumps and twitches when Danny raises his hips the tiniest fraction.
When Steve opens his eyes again he sees Danny’s got his hands curled tight in the sofa cushions and his eyes are screwed shut, his mouth still open and the most delicious little keening noises escaping him from time to time. Steve shivers, excitement sparking up and down his spine, his fingers tingling as he runs his hands up and down Danny’s calves on either side of him, then up along his thighs, reaching Danny’s waist. He pushes Danny’s shirt up, leaving one hand resting on the firm muscles of his stomach, feeling his shallow breaths, the hitches every time Steve hollows his cheeks and sucks harder for a moment.
“Fuck, Steve.”
Steve pulls away, his mouth making an obscene wet noise when he does, and he grins up at Danny, licking his lips before leaning down to kiss around Danny’s thighs, feeling them tremble under his lips, moving on to Danny’s balls and teasing for a while, just to make Danny hiss and moan. Steve needs him to lose his mind so badly it makes him ache all over.
“Jesus, soldier, could you stop being such a fucking tease?”
“And do what? Suck you dry or fuck you into the couch?”
“Good God, whatever you want, Steve, I. Fuck, yeah, anything, want you so fucking much, you have no idea.”
Steve sits back on his heels, licking his lips as he keeps his hands moving over Danny’s thighs, thumbs swirling patterns in the hairs that tickle his palms. The position pulls his pants tight across his crotch and he watches Danny’s eyes flick down to check him out, before coming back up to meet Steve’s gaze. Steve grins, pulling his shirt off and dropping it next to him. He comes forward on his knees and grabs the hem of Danny’s shirt, tugging it up and off over his head, throwing it over the back of the couch.
“Turn around.”
He’s already got hold of Danny’s hips as he speaks, moving him until he’s facing the back of the couch, knees spread wide, that perfect ass right in front of Steve’s face. He slides his hands down from Danny’s hips and takes a cheek in each one, opening him up as he leans forward and licks a stripe over Danny’s hole, feeling it clench and relax under his tongue. Danny makes a choking sound, pushing his hips back, and Steve repeats his action, reaching down with one hand to undo his fly, getting his pants and boxers down to his knees. His cock is weeping when he gets a hand around it, making him shudder out an exhale as he presses his tongue to Danny’s perineum, rubbing over the spot with the tip of it.
“Jesus, Steve. You’re - killing me.”
Steve moves away again with another kiss to the back of Danny’s balls, looking for the lube. He slicks up two fingers and drags them up from the spot he’d been licking a moment ago until they’re circling Danny’s entrance, and Danny’s rocking back onto them.
“Please, Steve.”
Steve has got Danny exactly where he wants him, writhing and a fine sheen of sweat sticking to his skin, losing his usual verve to revert to pleas. And fuck if it doesn’t almost bring Steve to the edge, looking at Danny like that, sprawled over the couch with his ass an offer to Steve’s hands and mouth and cock, listening to him beg softly, his noises muffled into the sofa. He has to tighten his grip on his own cock to keep from coming over the back of Danny’s calves as he pushes a finger inside Danny and earns himself a long, drawn-out moan, full of desperation and need.
It’s not easy for him to keep a steady rhythm at first, opening Danny up for him, adding a second finger when Danny starts moaning louder, letting out harsher words, his control slipping away from him in the most amazing way. He clenches his muscles around Steve’s fingers, pulling them in deeper, and when Steve nudges his prostate Danny jerks, forcing a sharp breath out of Steve.
“Just - fuck me, will you, c’mon, Steve.”
“Yeah, yeah, Jesus, yes,” Steve murmurs into Danny’s hip, adding a third finger to the other two before letting go of his cock and reaching blindly for a condom on the floor.
He drops kisses along Danny’s side, his ass cheek and the back of his thigh, pulling away from him when Danny starts rubbing against the sofa, little high-pitched, desperate moans escaping his throat. Steve rolls the condom on with slippery, shaking fingers, smearing what’s left of the lube in the sachet onto the head of his now covered dick and taking a few deep breaths. He feels a bit like a teenager at his first time, out of practice and a little overwhelmed as he surveys the scene in front of him, working out the logistics of getting up on the couch behind Danny.
Instead, he pulls Danny backwards, off the sofa and onto the floor with him, their legs tangling with their pants still around both their ankles and knees, until Steve’s got his legs either side of Danny’s and his cock lined up and finally, finally, pushing in.
Danny’s body is hot and welcoming, eating up every inch of him as he presses in steadily, both of them groaning low in their throats. Steve leans over Danny’s back as he rests his forehead on the seat cushions , one hand gripping Steve’s wrist tightly, the other braced against the couch itself. The fake leather squeaks as Steve rocks into Danny’s body a few times, shallow thrusts that have him barely moving inside Danny’s ass, but are enough to make his throat go dry at the sensation. Steve bites at the back of Danny’s neck, twisting his arm out of Danny’s grip until he can grab Danny’s hand , slotting his fingers between Danny’s and squeezing tight enough that he can feel his nails digging into Danny’s palm.
“Okay?”
“Stupid question, McGarrett.”
Steve smiles, pressing his face into Danny’s neck for a moment, feeling the muscles and Danny’s pulse, beating rapidly in sync with Steve’s as the two of them move together, pressing and pulling. Danny rolls his hips into Steve’s and Steve moans into Danny’s neck, digging his teeth in the flesh he finds under his mouth, unable to help himself. It makes Danny jerk harder, a broken noise leaving him, raw and loud.
Steve’s world reduces to this, to Danny underneath him, to his skin glistening in the dim light and his wrenched sounds and his rolling hips and tight ass. Nothing else matters for Steve, his focus only on Danny; the universe could explode around them and he wouldn’t move, wouldn’t change a thing about this particular moment
He can feel that he’s not going to last, Danny too tight around him, clenching his muscles every now and then and pulling sounds out of Steve he had no idea he could make, but he’ll take as long as he’s got, his thrusts picking up speed as he brushes Danny’s prostate.
Danny suddenly exhales sharply and straightens up, shifting the two of them on a kneeling position and pulling Steve even deeper inside him. Steve’s movements are restricted in this position but he can run his hands over Danny’s chest, collecting sweat, and when he wraps his hand around Danny’s cock it slides easy and hot.
“Steve. Jesus.”
Steve’s hand squeezes involuntarily at the sound of his name falling from Danny’s mouth like that, sounding so broken and strung out. He starts stroking Danny’s cock in earnest; strong, firm pulls in time with the snaps of his hips, bringing their joined hands up to Danny’s chest again, pulling him back into his own. Danny’s head lolls onto Steve’s shoulder, tilted just enough that Steve can turn his own and bring their mouths together in a messy semblance of a kiss, little more than tongues meeting in the air between them. It doesn’t matter, though, because Steve’s not sure he could co-ordinate his mouth to do anything else right now; his mind is only capable of Danny, and hot, and perfect, and missed this, missed this so much.
Steve sits back, taking Danny with him until he’s sitting in Steve’s lap, burying himself as deep as he can in Danny’s ass, and it’s ridiculous, how they’re still half dressed, on the floor of Steve’s rented apartment, too desperate to even move to the bedroom, but he wouldn’t change anything.
“Steve. Steve, fuck. Oh, God, yes. Yes.”
The words keep spilling out of Danny’s mouth, broken sentences and all those little noises - the half moans, grunts, gasps - shoot straight to Steve’s cock, and it’s not long before the pull in his stomach is too great, the ache in his balls turning almost painful until Danny lets out a particularly ragged moan, his ass clenching hard around Steve’s dick and that’s it, he’s gone.
Steve lets out a long, loud moan as he comes, burying his face in Danny’s skin, panting through his release. His hand stops moving on Danny’s erection but is soon covered by Danny’s own sweaty fingers wrapping around his and between them they get Danny over the edge, soaking their knuckles and the carpet in front of them.
“Holy shit.”
part two
