Oct. 22nd, 2012 09:28 am
delicatale: (Teen Wolf Derek looks out)
So, as Scott Caan would say, I went and got my hair did at the weekend. I do it maybe twice a year because I can rarely be arsed, so it's always sort of an event for me. Lookit! I went shorter than I usually do but I like it, even if it's taking me a while to get used to it. I got many a compliment at work so I'm quite pleased *^_^*.

Other than that, I have reached 11.5K on my Teen Wolf Big Bang, which means I wrote over 2K at the weekend, which is very pleasing to me, considering these days I struggle to write over 500 words a day. I wrote it all on Sunday afternoon/evening so it's a good rhythm! [livejournal.com profile] lanyon helped me make sense of my thoughts, and I pushed through a small blockage I had, and managed to write a couple of very important scenes, so, happy! will definitely get over the 15K required for this; I really want to get to the point where I'm close to be finished with it, even if I can't post it just yet. I am enjoying writing it immensely, but I also want to see the finished product, if that makes any sense...Anyway, I reached a turning point, and now I have a few questions for you, my literary, beautiful flist:

Can you think of any great book that ends with one of the characters coming home, or someone important coming back to them? ETA: I think I'm going to use Homer's The Odyssey. Kind of an obvious one, but it's not like this story is subtle anyway ^^.

And also: how many of you have read The Time Traveler's Wife? Because I use its plot in the story and I'm wondering if it will put off many people because there are spoilers from the book in there.

Let me know!

Anyway, for your time, and if you're interested, have a tiny bit of the story:
Teen Wolf Big Bang, Adventure Times! )

Why hello!

Oct. 19th, 2012 09:52 am
delicatale: (Avengers Coulson fav badass)
I kinda want to get back into LJ-ing a bit more. There are so many things I;ve missed, but I'm slowly but surely growing to hate Tumblr when it comes to fandom things - it sucks, it's immature, it's full of wank and hate and it's way closer to RL than my comfort level is at, soooooooo. LIVEJOURNAL! How I missed you. You are led by incompetent assholes, but I still love you dearly.

Did I tell you? I am SUPER excited about Yuletide. It is my first year participating and I am IN LOVE with the fandoms I'm requesting and oferring, even though I wish there was more I could pick from (like The OC, or Pitch Black, which are, apparently, not eligible). It should be fun to do it, I am really looking forward to it, even if I also have 9000 more words to write for my Teen Wolf big bang, and also 3K to write for my Teen Wolf reversebang. I have dropped out of the RBB, because of so many different reasons. Luckily my artist is getting a fic anyway, I was the second claimer, so it should be okay.

In other news, HATERS AND NON-BELIEVERS TO THE LEFT, BECAUSE spoilers? I guess? For the SHIELD tv show )

In terms of real life: I went on a date that didn't go well; my company is going through a restructure, but I got a pay rise at about the same time the restructure process started and thus I was told in not so many words that my job is pretty safe; life at home is quite great; MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 22 DAYS. I love birthdays.

Also, I want my new tattoo like, yesterday. I need to pester my artist friends a bit more.
delicatale: (Teen Wolf Jackson cries)
I am so, so emotionally exhausted. Today I had to watch one of my colleagues explode in sobs over one of our clients, and realising we made a mistake, and having to sort it, and deal with it all. She is doing it, and doing it well, but it's a little too much right now.

It's like, my emotions are way too close to the surface at the moment. I cry watching White Collar, and Awkward, and I snap in frustration every time I'm asked something I don't know the answer to. I want everyone to go away, I want to be left alone, if only for a while, so I can try to breathe and look at issues head-on. Maybe it's because I had a 19 hours work day on Tuesday (day trip to Paris to meet with clients), maybe it's because it's been 3 months since my last break. It's just been a hard week.

Thankfully I am going away tomorrow. Getting on a train back to France, I am roadtripping with my mum to the south of France for a wedding, and then going home for a week. I will be alone with my dad and my dog during the days, and I plan on sleeping a lot, writing a lot, geeking out a lot, and recharge my batteries in my quiet childhood neighbourhood. I am hopeful it will be enough to make me feel a bit more stable again.

Sad Panda

May. 21st, 2012 10:14 am
delicatale: (Avengers Thor and Mjolnir)
Cut for those not interested in me talking about squee harshing. )

I just want us to be better than that. (By the way, if you come in to bash and not bring anything to the conversation I will shut you down.)
delicatale: (JGL has a tie)
One little compliment can make you feel great. So give me a compliment, anything in the entire world, even that my shoelaces are pretty. Put this in your journal. Once you get some comments, put that entry in a memory or tag and when you are feeling down, just go to that entry and this will remind you how great you are.

Do it too so I can love on you <3. Anon is on, and comments are screened. Free speech.
delicatale: (Avengers Bucky is terrified)
You know, I quite enjoy being part of a fairly small niche in a fandom. It's fun, and I know most of the people, and I enjoy all of them, and their writing, and their ideas and their flailing. Of course, I love meeting new people who get into the pairing, who read the fics and get all excited all over again. Best ever.

Which is why I'm so conflicted about The Avengers fandom surely exploding when the movie comes out. Because in a way, I am SUPER excited about having an influx of readers and writers and amazingness, but on the other hand, I am TERRIFIED it's all going to put me off. Will these new people be interested at all in what I write and what I say? Will they cover the sound of my voice with a steady buzz of conversation? Will I drown in the middle of so many other fics and thoughts and people?

It's a selfish thought, I know. I am hoping it will be an amazing experience, that I'll make countless friends like I already have in other fandoms. But a part of me is definitely scared. I don't know if it's rational.


Apr. 3rd, 2012 07:15 pm
delicatale: (H50 quote angry person)
So my workplace held this competition, to win one in ten spots for the Zombie Shopping Mall Event, and my god did I want to get a place. It was a draw, ten names out of a hat, and 26 of us signed up, and I didn't get a spot. Before the draw I was almost sick with nervousness, and after I was trembling, close to tears.

And, okay, I know it's stupid, right, super fucking stupid because it's not the end of the world and it doesn't really matter and it's just not a big deal, but, I don't know, not getting a spot really, really upset me. And I know I shouldn't think like this because it's a perk from our COO and we're fucking privileged to have been offered spots (he's paying the £1200 for the ten spots out of his own pocket), but I can't seem to get over the fact that I didn't get a spot. I gather that it makes me a super selfish bitch, I just can't shake it.

One of the guys who got a spot was like 'ah, I see several of you want it, so I will auction mine closer to the date!' and it pissed me off so much my hands actually closed into fists.

I seem to be keeping my feelings in check with difficulty. Idk, gimme happy things to change my mind, possibly?
delicatale: (Avengers Hawkeye shoots you in the face)
Lookit what I got!

It is my arrowhead necklace and I love it so very much I think I might be wearing it FOREVER. AND EVER. AND ALWAYS.

Hawkeye would fucking approve, I just know this.

ETA: just suddenly exploded in plot for a cagefighting!Clint fic at [livejournal.com profile] sirona_gs. Possibly, I may have kinks.

ETA2: Anyone could direct me towards a place that would teach me the technicalities of podficcing? I did story time to [livejournal.com profile] stjarna1984 and [livejournal.com profile] theellibu the other night and I had a great time doing it (probably more than they did!) so I'm thinking about, possibly, giving podficcing a try. Also, authors on my flist, do you want your fic to be podficced?
delicatale: (Danno SAYS ILU)
Okay, FINE, let's have a love meme. I'm sorry, I probably don't deserve it, but I sort of feel like I need it.

delicatale: (Danno what twisty face)
H50 2.16 )

I feel sort of shitty today. Even though I have read [livejournal.com profile] somehowunbroken and [livejournal.com profile] sirona_gs shower me with love and awesomeness and good feelings with their LJ posts, and the most, most lovely [livejournal.com profile] gottalovev sent me hearts, I still feel kinda off. There’s this thing; look, can’t really talk about it (basically, [redacted] like [livejournal.com profile] futureperfect would say) but it’s chewing my brain so I just want to say, I appreciate you all so very much. I am so glad to have such a wonderful flist, and made such amazing friends through it. You mean a lot more to me than I can say most of the time, so. I am incredibly lucky.

Please know that if you wish to unfriend me, I would never hold it against you. If you’re a lurker, that’s fine! If I ever slighted you, don’t be afraid to tell me, if you want me to apologise. And if someday you need me, or you want to talk to me outside of LJ, or you want to flail at me or send me a bit of fic you want my opinion on or you need cheering up or you want to yell at me, my email is ellievolia at gmail. I welcome any and all emails, just so you know.

So, there. Just wanted to say this. ♥.
delicatale: (Avengers on top of the world)
Not posted in a week - life has been busy.

One, I want to say I LOVED that episode of 5-0, it was just absolutely beautiful and although I guess we're not going to see much post-events reactions which is something I'd like to see, the episode itself made my heart shake really hard. A coda related to the episode that made my heart shake again, is this one, Hold on to your heart (is this all you've got to break my fall) by my darling [livejournal.com profile] theellibu. It's beautiful and poignant.

Went to the Stories Before Bedtime reading yesterday, and all I can say really is that Tom Hiddleston is such a presence, so charismatic, an incredible actor. I was enthralled from the moment he got on stage - I've read around that there would be a podcast, and I'd advise anyone to listen to it if it does come out. He took on an American deep south accent that (to me) was flawless, made the most amazing faces and voices, and captured the attention of the audience in an incredible way.
Also, look how gorgeous he looked:
After the show, did the stage door thing, but so did the rest of the theatre, and I didn't get my Thor DVD signed. Rather not than try harder and get trampled, though. It's just not my thing, not really.

Anyway, that is all. I am sorry my life isn't exactly stellar exciting at the moment. I haven't written a word this week, although [livejournal.com profile] sirona_gs and I are discussing possibilities. I am tired as hell but I'll get over it - just getting used to being at work again. The rhythm in this new agency is crazy, and I need to get into it.

I don't think I've missed much in fandom terms but if I have, let me know? (still haven't seen the Bourne trailer, by the way. This makes me sad.)
delicatale: (T-Hard is pensive)
Finished watching Generation Kill, and I have all the feelings of manly men not talking about their feelings and expressing themselves through their fists and VJBFKLVFJKL DOC WAS MY FAVOURITE. If anyone has fic to rec me, please do, thank youuuuu. I have a feeling the biggest pairing is probably going to be Fick/Brad, I AM OKAY WITH THAT.

Still writing my Phil-and-Clint-hide-away-in-England fic. Taking my time and savouring it, really. Hoping to finish it this week, though...Got a Big Bang to write with [livejournal.com profile] sirona_gs, too! This stuff won't write itself!

Oh, guys, I have just read tweets that Tom Hardy is poorly and might not make an appearance to the premiere tonight. Now, I am still going, FOR REASONS THAT ARE OBVIOUSLY NOT SHALLOW AT ALL, but this makes me sad. I don't want him to be poorly :(. I guess if he's not there it eliminates the 'what do I do/say apart from unladylike giggles and swooning if he ever comes close to me' issue. Issue which I do not have with Chris Pine.

Also, [livejournal.com profile] ariadne83 has the most amazing plot bunny and I want to roll in it forever and ever because, yes. It is pretty much perfection. Also, there is now a [livejournal.com profile] bucky_kink community! HOW HAPPY AND WONDERFUL.

Speaking of Bucky, Just Jared has reported that Sebastian Stan is to guest in an episode of Once Upon a Time, which makes me SO HAPPY, because a) Sebastian Stan, b) Once Upon a Time, c) those two things together.

Okay, I am done with the most random entry in the history of EVER. THANK YOUUUU.
delicatale: (Default)

Last night, I dreamt about being pregnant. Twice in one dream (when, in real life, it's a possibility I'll have trouble getting pregnant). Like, I gave birth and then there was an ellipsis and then I was pregnant again. Not even kidding, I get pregnant dreams when something big happens in my life. I've read somewhere that dreaming about being pregnant means a project coming to fruition, things like that.

Well, this afternoon I had yet another interview, with a big search marketing agency, the kind you hear about when you follow industry news and all, and it was a super technical interview and sort of terrifying, but you know what? I impressed them so much they gave me an offer a few hours later.

It probably has nothing to do with the fact that I dreamt I was pregnant but man, this shit happens. Anyway, I HAVE A JOB. AN AMAZING ONE AT THAT. So I am pleaaaaased, and I want to say thank you to all of you who supported me through the bitching, and TAKE THAT, NOW EX-BOSS WHO TOLD ME TWO DAYS AGO I WAS DOING THINGS WRONG IN INTERVIEWS.

Alllllll the group hug and high five gifs are more than welcome, I LOVE YOU ALLLLLLL.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

delicatale: (Seb Stan as jack is hurt oh bb)
Am in an absolute tizzy. Just had a meeting with one of my colleagues, and it seems I'll soon be the only one left without a new job and/or a plan to go on. There is almost no work left at my current company, and I know that my boss will not make me redundant if he can't help it, but being a burden on him is just something I cannot fathom. I have applied to jobs right left and center, with limited success, and I've contacted recruiters I've been working with before. I can't go on sitting on my arse, even if this whole thing is frustrating and scary and tiring.

If I don't find a job soon, and I lose this one because there is no more work to do, I won't be able to support myself. I can't ask my parents for money, and the job agency here probably won't give me enough per month to allow me to pay the rent and bills. I have no choice.

My hands have been shaking for the past hour. I have a month to find a job. I can do this.
delicatale: (Avengers Cap is sad)
I just watched Sunshine, which was depressing and heartbreaking all in its own right, but also pretty fucking good (♥ Danny Boyle).

Thing is, it made me want to write. I've always wanted to write some kind of Sci-Fi, happens-on-a-ship kind of story, where I can invent words and have dangers like a supernova or a black hole around.

I could spend days writing about this crew; Steve the mechanic, wrench in his back pocket at all times, always tinkering with the mainframe; Tony the physicist, hours spent in his lab wanting to put deep space in a bottle; Clint the weapons specialist, monkeying around the ship from laser turret to laser turret; Bucky the pilot, found leaning into the consoles sometimes, listening to beeps and bumps with a loving look on his face; Natasha the botanist, always nurturing the oxygen and water levels of the ship; Bruce the doctor, forcing daily checks on everyone; Fury the captain, Coulson his second in command.

But in the end, without a plot I'm not going anywhere. It's like a pipe dream, something I've always wanted to do, and never found the strength to start, to research. I'm afraid, too, that I'll never be good enough for it, that I won't make the genre justice. It's my favourite, sci-fi and fantasy and the like. It's something I want to treat with respect.

I don't know. It's probably not going to happen. Reassure me, I'm not the only one like this, right? Do you have a genre/type of story you want to write but don't dare to?
delicatale: (Steve breaks my heart)
Right now feels like a good moment to remember the kindness part of my goals. Trying to remind myself I am not a failure, and I can do this. I can do it all.
If you feel like giving out some kindness, too, I'll take it.
delicatale: (Scotty hand)
So, I'm feeling like pretty muuuuuchhhh shit. You know how, a few days ago I said I was in agony, yes? It's because I am guessing I pulled a muscle in my neck/shoulder area, and I could hardly move my head. It was turning into a dull, sort of controlled ache, until last night, at some point during the night I moved, and Idk, I felt something pop/snap and now it hurts approximately a thousand times more than it did. I didn't get any sleep after that because it was throbbing, and I could barely move to find some sort of comfortable position, because holding my head upright pulls on these muscles and it hurts like a m*therf*cker.
So now I have a hot water bottle against my neck and it's not going far to soothe, but it's better than nothing and it keeps my head upright without me having to use any muscles. I probably need a neck brace, at this point.

In other shit news, I went to meet with my boss yesterday, to talk about our ~work situation, and, as sort of feared, basically it was either get a new office or let people go right away. So he chose to keep us on for a while longer, finish what we've started, but he's giving us the freedom to just go for interviews during our work hours if we have the chance, and he's offering us interview practice, and stuff like that. I think there's only 3 of us being sort of let go, but I'm not exactly sure, because he told me he wanted to do something else, too. At least we're not going into administration or something like that, so he's still paying us and it's not DEEP SHIT. It just sucks. I told him I've got interviews lined up, because it smelled like rubber for us, and he just wished me luck. Fuck.

And speaking of interviews, I had one, after that meeting, yesterday. And it was...Idk. It was quite informal, and all the pretty things I wanted to say about the company didn't come into the discussion, and I don't know if I answered some of their questions the way they wanted me to, but. I try. I'm not really good at all this stuff. However, I have three more interviews on Monday, so there's hope!

ANYWAY. That is the bad, let's get to the good, yes? Yes. [livejournal.com profile] sirona_gs and I ended up signing for the for which we're writing our Love, Actually redux. And it's already 5K (the min word count for the big bang is 15K) and we're still completely at the beginning. And I already love it. Muehehehe.

Aaaand I went to see JEREMY RENNER AND HIS ARSE in the cinema with my friend Lisa the other night and it was a brilliant silly timy FILLED WITH JEREMY RENNER'S ARSE. Oh, that arse in those tailored trousers, my oh my.
Speaking of Jeremy Renner, [livejournal.com profile] kellifer_fic posted this picture on Neve's journal the other day and it inspired all sorts of dolphin noises, so, sharing for those who didn't see (and those who want to see it again):

My insides are still quivering.

Okay, I wanted to talk about photography as part of the snowflake challenge, as it's sort of my non-fannish ~thing, although it was started by fandom. Or not really, it's just all mixed up together. Basically, my non-fannish thing? Live music photography, because I love it so much. I love taking a million pictures and going through them, editing them, remembering exactly when was this and when was that. I had the chance to be in the photo pit for the very first concert of a McFly arena tour last year, and I swear to God the experience was such a thrill. If I had the money to get better equipment than what I have, you have no idea, I would have so much shit. I have so much to learn (which is why I really love reading [livejournal.com profile] vickita's entries and checking out her pictures, because they're amazing), but that's this thing I really enjoy doing outside of the fannish world.

A few examples if you're so inclined )

OKAY OKAY I AM DONE. Sorry! Anyway, that is that. Now, to go back to ~work. Sorry this became so long, wow.
delicatale: (Seb Stan as jack is upset)
An example where my company sucks: when I got back from LA, I was told that we're moving offices. Then I wasn't told anything until about two weeks ago, where I had to ask about it, and I was told we'd be moving 'at some point before the new year'. Then, last Thursday, we were told to work from home on Friday because movers were coming on Friday to move everything and all. I'd like to tell you then that we still hadn't been given an address.

So Friday we work from home, and then it's NYE and everything else, and today was a bank holiday. I checked my work emails to see if our office manager would give us the new address at some point during the weekend/Friday, but there wasn't anything. Today, all day long I've been checking, nothing. In the end, I called the office manager, for him to tell me that tomorrow we're working from home again because the new office is not ready yet. Still no address given. Then he told me my boss would call tomorrow to let us know what's going on.

Later on after that call, I'm still on my work email to check, and one of my colleagues emails to know if anyone has heard anything. Which means possibly nobody else has asked, or checked, or wondered WHERE WE ARE SUPPOSED TO GO TO WORK IN THE MORNING. I am appalled, and slightly worried. This lack of communication is ridiculous. I shouldn't have to call to have any information about where I'm supposed to go! There has been no official email about it, just random conversations, our boss never said anything about it, either, it's the office manager that worked it all out.

It's just so unprofessional. I don't know.
delicatale: (Danno lonely)
So, I got home from my parents yesterday evening (which was a nightmare, let's not talk about that) and then went on to have a SHIT night and woke up at 6 and watched really bad tv shows for a while before going back to bed and then waking up at 12. Which is more like it, isn't it? Back to work tomorrow so I'm making the most of a day off, even if I'm all alone :(.

My mom bought me a pair of crazy heels for Christmas, hee XD. We're not the kind of family that give a lot of presents, so I got that, and my brother got me perfume (didn't even complain that I didn't get him anything, I think he realised I was really quite upset he didn't even text me for my birthday, in amongst other things), and my grandma knitted me a scarf ([livejournal.com profile] stjarna1984's mum also did that! I HAVE ALL THE SCARVES). It was good because I was with my family, really, that was all I wanted from these three days and I got it, so, I can't complain.

Other than that, since the next three days at work are probably going to be very quiet, I'll hopefully get to write these drabbles and other things I'm working on. That'd be good, even if I'm still quite angry at the whole 'you can't take holidays you have to be in the office otherwise there won't be enough people' when there is, for a fact, enough people. BUT, TRYING NOT TO BE BITTER, I'll just write all day and fuck it.

Speaking of writing, have a meme, I'll try to have good answers for it!
Give me a character or a pairing (or both) and I will tell you three tidbits of my personal headcanon for them.

In the meantime, I am rewatching Kings.
delicatale: (SoA Jax' hair)
Pom pom pom, having a WHY CAN'T I WRITE WHY AM I SHIT AT THIS moment. Seriously SO frustrated, I want to rip my hair out and cry and throw a tantrum, all at the same time. It is a shame I am not actually 4 year old any more.

Don't mind meeeeeeee, instead, do stare for a moment at Jeremy Renner (again, yes, sue me) :


delicatale: (Default)

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